If trends in England are any indication, this portends to be a very woke, environmentally-conscious Christmas season. In some major department stores, plastic toys are not being sold. Hollywood actress Emma Thompson said she intends to rent an environmentally-friendly Christmas tree this year and urges others to rent, not purchase trees. Her stated reason is that “because we have everything, because some of us have way too much.” The Extinction Rebellion would be proud.
Thompson and other woke celebrities are also asking that we forego wrapping paper for presents and putting tinsel icicles on our rented trees. The British nanny state is perhaps one of the worst in the world and nowhere is this seen more vividly than in Wakefield in the north of merry old England. There they have banned the sale of mulled wine at an outdoor stall in Castleford. Apparently, too much holiday cheer is consumed which makes the holiday revelers more cheerful and we cannot have cheerfulness during the Christmas season.
Also on the hit list are Christmas cards since they create too much waste and trees have to be cut down to make the paper that makes the cards. In actuality, this may not be a bad idea since most of the cards my household receives is simply a glossy picture of someone’s family with nary a mention of Christmas anyway except for, perhaps, the red outline and holly leaf in the upper-righthand corner. Some supermarkets are no longer stocking glitter or tinsel lest some bird accidentally eats it in some landfill.
Speaking of Christmas trees, in my particular neck of the woods all those discarded trees are actually recycled and put to good use. They are used to anchor sand dunes on the nearby barrier islands near where I live and never make it to a landfill. Of course, you have the numbskull beachfront property owners complaining that the resulting dunes obstruct their view of the ocean and that the dunes are not “natural.” But, I digress…
Nativity scenes, which is what Christmas is really all about, have been banned. In England, there has been an outright ban in many cities and villages since England wants to keep Christmas “religiously and politically neutral.” That is the kicker here: they want to make a religious holiday “religiously neutral.” The “political” aspect, one suspects, is that some non-Christian (read: Muslim in England) will become offended should they encounter a Nativity somewhere.
Let’s not forget Santa Claus himself- that capitalist purveyor of consumerism. Besides wasting all that paper at the North Pole wrapping gifts for everyone- wrapping paper that will be discarded and end up in a landfill- there are two issues with jolly old St. Nick. First, he makes the factories of Asia look almost like Utopia when it comes to exploitation of the workforce. Recently, the AFL-CIO was dealt a loss when the elves at the North Pole narrowly rejected an effort to unionize the workforce. That election is currently being reviewed by the NLRB after complaints that Santa swayed the election with last minute reforms that included extra candy canes in their pay and an extra hot chocolate break during the day.
The Extinction Rebellion also has Santa in its sites. They cite, among their biggest grievance, the wide girth of Santa. This sends a bad message to children, they claim, that by eating so many sweets- especially as he delivers gifts- he is creating a world of fat children with deleterious health effects later in life. The American Medical Association released a report which showed that the rise in diabetes among children worldwide is directly attributable to Santa’s eating habits. As a result, they suggest that families leave out some almond milk and tofu for Santa come this Christmas. They have also suggested that Santa go on a diet and exercise more.
Although this is written in jest, we are not that far from it becoming reality. The eco-warriors, social justice morons, and PC police have a lot in common with Ebenezer Scrooge which is ironic since Scrooge is the ultimate cash-hoarding capitalist. Unlike Scrooge who comes to embrace the spirit and meaning of the Christmas season, these people seem hell-bent on banning the holiday season altogether or, at a minimum, making it uncomfortable.
After the Second English civil war, Christmas was banned in England. In our country, from 1659 to 1681 celebrating Christmas could get you fined in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. The Puritans believed the celebration of Christ’s birth distracted from religious discipline. Today’s eco-warriors and secularists are akin to the Puritans of old, but with a different rationale for belittling Christmas.
Today, Puritan thoughts and actions which brought us such shining historical things like witch trials, are basically a joke. Hopefully, today’s woke celebrities and the politically correct will be tomorrow’s joke. Then again, maybe we should just capitulate and throw in the towel and travel off to some sunny, warm place this Christmas season. Just make sure you get there in your electric car and do not take a jet lest you leave a carbon footprint.