Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.
It’s time for the goofiest, looniest, far-out crazy and triggered stories from the social justice activists in the culture wars. Here are seven stories this writer has culled from the bowels of the Internet to enlighten, inform, and entertain the reader.
Let’s See If The Rubes Fall For This One, Too
Now that 4Chan hoaxers have convinced the woke that the upside down “OK” symbol is a racist white power symbol, they’re back at it. A new trend is “Bash the Hash,” a take on the liberal “Bash the Fash,” as in fascist, as in anything with which they disagree. The new hoax asserts that the popular Twitter hashtag symbol is actually a derivative of the Nazi “SS” emblem. Hence, the Twitter hashtag is really a secret nod to Nazis and white supremacy. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Twitter had to disavow the hashtag?
Batwoman is a Lesbian
Trailers for the new Fox series upcoming this fall, Batwoman, are getting some eyebrows raised on social media. The DC comic character gets her own series and it appears that her real identity- Katie Kane, a wealthy heiress- is actually a lesbian. One can tell from the make-out scenes with other women. Granted, we always wondered about Robin, but Fox has totally outed Batwoman.
The UN’S WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION CURES ANOTHER DISEASE
The World Health Organization is known as possibly the only good thing about the UN. They provide vaccinations where none were previously provided and they’ve lessened pain and suffering around the world. Their latest contribution to international medicine, however, eliminated a whole mental disease without ever leaving an office with the stroke of a pen. No longer will the WHO consider gender dysphoria, or being transgender, a mental disorder. The reasoning is interesting: since being transgender can lead to stigmatization and denial of certain rights, a man thinking he’s a chick is now somehow a human right. Science be damned at the WHO.
The Travails of Fidel Lopez, Or Why Oregon is Just Plain Crazy
Fidel Lopez is an illegal immigrant living in the United States, Oregon specifically which is a decreed sanctuary state. He had the unfortunate luck to be caught in the act of raping a Lhasa Apso (that’s right…a little dog). The maximum penalty for dog raping in Oregon is 60 days, but since he served the 60 days awaiting trial, the judge released him despite a request by ICE to take custody. Small dogs everywhere can sleep easier tonight because despite the actions of Oregon, Lopez was located and taken into ICE custody presumably for deportation. As for Oregon, its obvious they have more compassion for illegal immigrants than they do for the canine victims of human rape.
A Trump Deranged Actress Admits Her Insanity
Speaking on Colbert, actress Julianna Marguiles recounted a dream where she walked into the Oval Office screaming at President Trump about the future of America. It was then that she realized she “was insane and had to stop watching the news.” Good for her! By admitting she suffers from insanity, she’s taken the first step towards recovery. However, she apparently had a relapse after admitting she read the New York Times and listened to NPR.
An Eric Swalwell Fail
In a recent tweet, presidential wannabe Eric Swalwell, the unapologetic gun-grabber who still believes Trump did something wrong, stated that he hangs the gay pride rainbow flag on his congressional office door with, well…pride. There is only one problem with the picture- the creases in the flag indicating it was just taken out of its packaging for this Twitter photo-op. Nice try, d-bag.
You Know You’re Nuts When You Hear Things Not Actually Spoken
According to teacher Marvelyn Lamey, when she took her class of black students on a trip to the Boston Museum of Fine Arts, a staff member went over the rules with the kids. Lamey claims the person told them: “No food, no drink and no watermelon.” Ouch! However, a spokesman for the museum said the staff member said: “No food, no drinks and no water bottles.” Nevertheless, the museum apologized for their non-transgression which apparently traumatized the kids dredging up century-old stereotypes and all but putting them in chains. The museum also promised sensitivity training for their staff, and hopefully how to more clearly enunciate the words “water bottle.”