Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.
To understand the spookiness of this edition, one has to visualize the people discussed. Just think of crazy kooky loons and you get the picture.
Crazy Person of the Week
This week the award goes to alleged comedienne turned social activist Chelsea Handler who is apparently embarrassed not only by the lack of pigment in her skin, but also her Jewish background. Appearing on Ellen Degeneres to hawk her new Netflix series (soon to be canceled, one is sure), she said that being both white and Jewish opened comedy doors for her that were shut to non-white and non-Jewish comedians.
Coming in a Close Second
The bovine Rosie O’Donnell recently took to Twitter to espouse what some interpreted as the imposition of martial law. In attempt to explain herself, she placed her fat foot in her fat mouth with these words:
What I wrote on Twitter was we should impose martial law until we make sure Russia was not involved in the final tally of the votes. People were like ‘martial law. What’s wrong with you. You are a lunatic.’ I want to send the military to the White House to get him.
Um… doesn’t sound like martial law but rather a military coup.
Oh NO!!! Say It Ain’t So
It appears that Lena Dunham is taking down her ultra-feminist website, Lenny, which she co-founded three years ago. Although no reason was stated, perhaps it was the lack of web traffic, or perhaps her Kavanaugh-induced flare up of fibromyalgia prevents this walrus from typing. Whatever the reason, the world thanks her.
Obama Loves Him Some Obama…and Other Democratic Party Losers
At a recent campaign rally in Nevada which drew considerably less people than the current occupant of the White House, Barack Obama managed to refer to himself an astounding 92 times in 38 minutes. That works out a reference to himself once every 24.7 seconds of speaking.
Meanwhile, Joe Biden, appearing in Tampa to endorse Democratic incumbent Senator Bill Nelson, accidentally praised Miami instead believing he was there and not in Tampa. Well, you know… all Florida cities look the same, so he’s excused.
There are also reports that Kamala Harris drew a mere 1,000 people to hear her dribble in Iowa while Bernie’s flame is going out since his crowd size is down 90% compared to 2016. Beto O’Rourke could take a cue here since he too seems to be flaming out. Well… they still have Spartacus.
Celebrating Marxism- NYU Style
New York University is celebrating a two-week festival honoring Karl Marx whose philosophy unleashed countless deaths rivaled only by those of Mohammed, impoverished many a nation, and enslaved millions more. Concluding on October 28th, the festival featured a musical version of Marx’s works, Marxist songs and a lecture denouncing “racial capitalism.”
One is not certain what prompted the festival as it surely was not his birthday. That occurs on May 5th. But, can we expect them to get a date right when they do not even realize Marxism sucks?
I Must Have Missed This In College
Enterprising students at San Diego State University recently celebrated “Free Vibrator Day” where they passed out over 500 battery operated sex toys while extolling the virtues of masturbation. In fact, they claim the whole point was to “destigmatize masturbation.” All in all, this seems much more personally self-satisfying than participation in a Karl Marx festival.
She’s Islam’s Problem Now
Sinead O’Connor, the Irish songstress best known for ripping off songs by Prince and ripping up pictures of the Pope on late night television shows, recently announced her conversion to Islam. Thankfully, now her alien-looking bald head will be covered with the hijab. She had put out a video declaring her suicidal tendencies after being holed up in a New Jersey motel. Russell Brand, another fruitcake, expressed some support prompting O’Connor to invite him to that motel for some good old-fashioned sex.
She has obviously gone deep into that snake pit of a psychotic mind having embraced Islam with all the fire and fury of a Nike commercial. Seriously… she Tweeted: “Wear a hijab…just do it!”
One thing for certain: we won’t be seeing her ripping up pictures of Mohammed on late night television any time soon.
That’s it for this week. Be back on Election Day so remember to vote.