Things are moving fast and furious on the social justice front.  No sooner do I publish one of these things, I have seven more potential stories.  It is getting hard to condense this thing, but here we go: the seven best/worst stories that may have (or not) made these pages:

Celebretard of the Week

Three possibilities for this week but I have to go with what passes as a comedian- Ian Michael Black (the others were Robert DeNiro and Bette Midler).  In response to the shooting in Florida that left 17 dead, the dead beat unfunny comedian did not blame lax gun control laws per se, but used that go-to line of any modern, woke, male feminist (which is just a ruse to get in a female feminist’s pants)- toxic masculinity.  In an eight-Tweet lecture, Black tells us that since that “problem” will not get “solved” soon, the only solution is stronger gun control laws.

That same day he responded to Vice President Pence’s Valentine’s Day Tweet by suggesting the Vice President was into bestiality.  Apparently, Black is one of those “intellectual” comedians Jimmy Kimmel was telling us about.

Your Obligatory Olympics Mention

In case anyone cared, the Winter Olympics are going on in some really cold place in South Korea.  It is always an honor to carry the flag of your country at the Olympics during the opening ceremonies, but this year there was controversy as speed skater Shani Davis lost a coin toss and decided to have a hissy fit going as far as to suggest that a coin toss is racist since he lost the honor to a white female.  Besides his ranting on Twitter, Davis also refused to participate in the opening ceremonies.

Nothing against speed skaters…I hear they are all the rage in Holland.  But it is high time the luge got some respect.  Besides, Davis does not even look remotely Dutch.  Apparently, Mr. Davis failed to get the social justice memo.  The oppressed female is all the rage these days.  Perhaps, if Davis had come out as openly gay it would have increased his chances of carrying the flag.

You Knew This Was Inevitable

Joseph Roman is a 38-year-old Chicago man who was arrested for child sexual abuse.  Over a four month period, Roman is accused of assaulting a 6-year-old girl and another ten-year-old.  Then there was a third assault.  The pervert is nothing if not original in his defense of these crimes.

Roman confessed to the crimes but also stated that he is “trans-aged,” which means that although 38, he is “a nine year old trapped in an adult’s body.”  Surprisingly as I was researching this new perversion, I discovered Roman is not even original.  In 2015, a 52-year-old left his wife and kids after identifying as a 9-year-old transgender.  And here we thought that pedophiles were just perverts when, in fact, they were trans-aged…

Peter Rabbit in the Cross Hairs

Sony’s recent film, Peter Rabbit, has a scene where our hero throws blueberries at the film’s villain, Tom McGregor, knowing that the villain is allergic to said blueberries which throws McGregor into shock.  But fear not… he self-administers the antidote and, we assume, sees the errors of his villainous ways.  Peter comes up with the plan after learning that Tom wants to kill all the cute, furry woodland creatures.  In effect, it is a case of self defense.

This did not sit too well with the snowflakes who claimed the scene was insensitive to those with food allergies which, if you walk by any school room today and read the signs, is just about every child in America these days.  Several organizations dedicated to the allergy sufferer (yes- there are such organizations) screamed, yelled, wrote, petitioned and called for boycotts forcing Sony Pictures to issue an apology for this egregious transgression.

 Cheddar Man Creates Controversy

Recent DNA tests on the 9,100 year old fossilized remains of a human at Cheddar Gorge, England is forcing Brits to reconsider their heritage.  Those tests reveal that the human most likely was blue-eyed and dark-skinned and probably found its way to England after migrating from the Middle East (sort of like today).  The fact that ancestral Britons may have been dark-skinned brought out some interesting editorial comment.

For example, said the Independent:  “This country should be for the BRITISH with pure BRITISH blood, for the black race…”  The Mirror screamed this headline: “Dark Skinned Cheddar Man is Hard Cheese for Racist Morons of the Far Right.”  And in a classic case of doublespeak, they state that race is not a biological reality by asserting that DNA tests confirm that race is actually a biological reality.

Indian Spy Busted

It is a well-known fact that Indian men (as in those from India) have a tendency to be perverted on social media…not all, but enough to take notice.  Apparently, the Pakistani intelligence service is aware of this propensity.  A 51-year-old Indian military officer was arrested for sharing classified documents with Pakistani intelligence after they posed as young women who offered him nude photos of themselves in exchange for pictures of documents obtained from the Indian Air Force’s headquarters.  According to Indian sources, the documents related to techniques used by Special Operations forces as well as cyber and space programs.

Now Timed Tests are Sexist

It was recently announced that in 2017, Oxford University extended by 15 minutes the time to complete exams in their math and computer science finals for females.  This was prompted after it was discovered that the number of those passing under the equal time constraints favored males 2:1.  Although parity, or the sought after 1:1 ratio has not been achieved (males still outperform females), the university defends their decision because… well, just because.

Said one of the matriculated females:

I am uneasy about schemes to favor one gender over another.  But I am happy when people see gaps between groups of people who should not reasonably have such gaps – such as between genders, races or class – and take that as a starting point to think about the kinds of people they unintentionally are leaving behind.