But that line perfectly sums up the growing feeling surrounding marriage in today's culture. While women are still more into the idea of marriage on average, men have been drifting away from the institution for various reasons, and sadly, many of them are legitimate. I've gone into that before in a previous article. 

(READ: Women Want to Know Why Men Don't Want to Marry Anymore...Allow Me)

But while men have begun wandering off from the dating-to-marry pool, women are being encouraged to do the same, and for very selfish reasons. 

As I wrote back in August, a TikTok video that seemed to originate from China went viral that showed a woman accepting a marriage proposal and as she slipped her finger into the ring, she got flashes of doing housework while stressed, looking disheveled and miserable, and trying to take care of a baby. After a few times of trying to put on the ring, she finally gives up and rejects the proposal and the idea of marriage altogether. 

(READ: TikTok's New Viral Feminist Video Is Stupid and Seems to Have a Connection to China)

This led to the idea that the Chinese were attempting to infect the American people, namely women, that marriage is a horrible idea because it results in a sort of slavery that men don't have to undertake. 

This suspicion has only been further deepened given another video that's emerged that seems to show an Asian couple on their wedding day. As the bride in her dress steps into a high heel presented to her by her besuited fiance, she's suddenly transformed into the same disheveled housewife cleaning, cooking, and raising a child. The bride soon runs off, leaving the would-be husband standing there confused. 

More anti-marriage TikToks coming out of China again. pic.twitter.com/YWVIP8bchs

— Brandon Morse (@TheBrandonMorse) September 21, 2023

If this is a Chinese psy-op, it's effective, or at least, it's further adding to the negative idea of marriage that feminism had already established. Many women have expressed their lack of desire to get married under the idea that it would result in a loss of agency. Meanwhile, they believe as the TikTok does that men would just be free to do what they wanted. 

This is a lie, of course, but like most lies pushed by communists, it's based on half-truths. 

The truth is, marriage is infinitely more complicated than even that, but while the TikTok only shows the hard parts it completely ignores (quite purposefully) the rewards. 

If I'm being completely honest, marriage is absolutely difficult, and not just in shallow ways like dealing with housework. Especially in the beginning, marriage has a steep learning curve. Habits may rub your partner the wrong way. Timetables may differ and what is important to one person might not be nearly a big deal to another. There are just some things you can't work out while you're dating. 

Even when you eventually smooth these things out and get used to your partner's way of things, you'll continue to run into new issues, especially as you enter new stages of life. Overcoming these trials is part of marriage, and each trial that's overcome together only strengthens the bond. Learning to communicate, compromise, and even knowing what battles to pick and which ones to get over go a long way, but all of these things involve learning to put the self as the most important thing away and embracing the partnership as the priority. 

That can be a very hard thing to do, and it's even harder to do in an era where survival doesn't have to involve a partnership and you have modernity whispering sweet lies in your ear. The lie that the grass is greener on the unmarried side, or that your relationship isn't as strong and easy as some other couples you know, can truly make you see marriage as overwhelming. 

The same can be said about child-rearing. Bringing a kid into the mix isn't like easing yourself into a pool. It's an ice bath that you're suddenly thrust into. You will be tested, and what's more, your marriage will be tested. If you haven't yet figured out each other, you now also have to figure out how to deal with a baby with its own needs on top of that. Moreover, the concern for the self just got pushed further down the list of importance. 

This is the element of truth that the TikTok is trying to take advantage of. It makes marriage and parenting seem exhausting, terrifying, and not at all glamorous, and it's right. It's often not. The only thing I wear more than raggedy t-shirts is my son's formula and spitup. I've dealt with more hazardous materials from the kid that I'm barely phased by anything anymore. My wife and I can sometimes get so stressed that it causes us to squabble. 

But I wouldn't change it for anything. 

Because these troubles are just surface-level things that can be and are overcome. Here's what that TikTok ignores. 

My wife and I are never lonely. We always have someone to talk to. We're each other's confidants. Sometimes, it's us against the world and I like it that way. We don't always get along, and sometimes we squabble, but even that can sometimes be a stress reliever, and we always come back to each other after. 

Our son gives us a sense of purpose that we didn't have before. It's hard to describe to people who don't have children, but it's an incredible feeling to have the most important thing in your life not be yourself. To truly cultivate and develop an entire person with your partner is an experience that you will not get anywhere else. You hear how "rewarding" childrearing is, and it's true. The reward looks nothing like a trophy, there's no cash prize, and you won't get much recognition, but there's something about it that makes all that stuff seem kind of shrug-worthy by comparison. 

You don't know how cold it is when you're single until you've experienced what it's like to be in the warmth of a family you helped create. It's chaotic and difficult, but it's damn fun. Yeah, changing diapers sucks, and the exhaustion is constant but you forget about it the moment your kid learns to do something simple as clap their hands or giggle because you made a funny noise. 

At one point, you'll be standing next to your partner watching the child you both created doing something innocuous in the home you both established yourselves in and realize that you made all this together...and there's no experience like that realization either. 

Marriage can be amazing if you commit yourself to it, and it leads to some of the most amazing moments you'll ever experience.