Nothing makes me want to see a movie more than a leftist movie critic. Every time they have nothing but bad things to say about it, you can usually expect to see a pretty good flick.
It was the case with Death Wish…
…and it was the case with Dave Chappell’s latest comedy special “Sticks and Stones.”
Now movie critics are calling Rambo: Last Blood a “Trumpian fantasy” and I went from being mildly interested to wildly interested in seeing this movie.
The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw begins his review of Last Blood without any leadup. He just goes straight into the hate and making it seem like a Trump lover’s fantasy film because it deals with an insecure southern border and the cartels that operate there:
This massively enlarged prostate of a film can only make you wince with its badly acted geronto-ultraviolence, its Trumpian fantasies of Mexican rapists and hilariously insecure US border, and its crass enthusiasm for rape-revenge attacks undertaken by a still-got-it senior dude, 73 years young, on behalf of a sweet teenager. The film, co-written by Sylvester Stallone, imagines this demure young woman having her face slashed by an assailant but the field is left clear for a stag payback showdown; there is no question of her taking her own retributive action.
Slate’s Sam Adams makes much of the same observations Bradshaw does in accusing the film of being a “MAGA fantasy” which features Rambo killing Mexican cartel members from south of the border if gruesome ways.
Both articles fall just shy of calling the movie racist, but that’s definitely the impression you come away with. They accuse the movie of depicting Mexico as a wasteland of sex and drug trafficking. They can’t quite bring themselves to call the movie racist, however, as the whole entire plot revolves around Rambo going to save the kidnapped teenage daughter of his Mexican housekeeper who he has grown very close to.
Without even having seen the film yet, I can tell you that the movie is probably not even half as bad as they make it out to be and that if Rambo was killing red-hatted white supremacists, this movie would be talked about with something akin to reverence.
In fact, both Adams and Bradshaw seem to be upset that a Rambo movie isn’t another kind of movie. The Rambo franchise is known for its macho fantasy of one man who can bring down an entire army. It’s a fun formula and many movies came after it that have that same feel such as Die Hard or the Olympus Has Fallen series. When you go in to watch these movies you can expect to see some gratuitous violence, badass moments, explosions, blood, and killer one-liners that hit as hard as the good guy’s righteous fist.
No one is coming to a Rambo movie to watch him talk about his feelings as he works through his toxic masculinity with his effeminate therapist named Sebastian. We came to watch him kill bad guys.
What gets the critics’ goat is that a movie dared to make the bad guys people south of the border and that the situation coincides with a real-world news item in the form of a border crisis, which both authors seem to consider laughable. In fact, Bradshaw uses the term “hilariously insecure US border.”
Last I checked, the border was incredibly insecure and I’m pretty sure those who are being trafficked across it as sex slaves or forced drug runners think it’s hilarious. There’s a crisis happening there and big part of that crisis involves gang and cartel crime. The crime at our border is a multi-billion dollar industry. Those aren’t my words, that’s from the FBI.
That Last Blood depicts the southern border as a dangerous place is a realistic backdrop to a fantastical movie. It’s not bigoted or prejudiced, it’s actually a pretty bad place where nightmarish things happen. Pretending it’s not and getting angry when someone suggests it is doesn’t make you a good person, it makes you a fool.
All things considered, thanks to these leftist critics, I’ll be seeing the lastest Rambo flick with enthusiasm. If they hate it this much, then I’ll probably consider it one of the better things I’ve watched in 2019.