In recognizing the dregs of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created "The Golden Remington Awards," a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or report in an audacious fashion.

These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, to be honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards.

Distinguished Investigative Journalism

• Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen - Axios

Considering the obsessive coverage of Donald Trump for at least the past eight years of his political career, it is hardly accurate to suggest the man is a cipher. Yet, at Axios, they need to promote this possibility, all done to claim that they have cracked the code of the mystery that is the man the media cannot stop themselves from covering.

This intrepid duo claims they have come up with definitive code-breaking and now the press can finally decipher the cloudy, gauzy, mysterious operations of the man vying to return to the White House.

• There's a Rosetta stone that demystifies how his mind works, his closest friends tell us: his Mar-a-Lago Spotify playlist.

EXCLUSIVE: Trump's closest friends say his Mar-a-Lago Spotify playlist —and his "Deejay T" performance — are a window into how his mind works.

• He alone controls the volume
• The songs stay the same
• His excitement never fades
• It'll never changehttps://t.co/Q4bPuyChhR

— Axios (@axios) April 4, 2024

Distinguished National Reporting

• Ari Melber - MSNBC

It remains one of the more hilarious developments in cable news. The collective brain-trust at MSNBC took to the cameras to express existential dread, behaving like they were on a therapist’s sofa. This was all because Ronna McDaniel was hired by the parent company as a political analyst. The highlight (or, the nadir) was Nicolle Wallace declaring that the network possessed what she called “sacred airwaves”.

This infantile hilarity now gets ramped up thanks to pre-primetime host Ari Melber, who, barely a week after this emotional meltdown, invited a curiously problematic guest to join him. Sort of. Ari was covering one of Donald Trump’s legal court wranglings (who the heck knows which) and he decided he wanted to have an expert delivering analysis. His choice?

The recidivist liar, extortionist, disbarred, and jailed porn lawyer Michael Avenatti, calling from his secured location inside The Grey Bar Inn.

MSNBC EXCLUSIVE:

Stormy Daniels’ former lawyer Michael Avenatti speaks to Ari Melber from prison.

On Donald Trump’s New York criminal trial starting Monday.

Watch @TheBeatWithAri 6pm ET tonight

— MSNBC (@MSNBC) April 9, 2024

Distinguished Public Service

• Brianna Keilar, Boris Sanchez – CNN

Look, we get it. Every news outlet was doing blanket coverage of the eclipse, and the day-long need to cover this rare event meant that filling airtime was both a need and a challenge. But considering that the new CNN leadership is struggling to get both ratings and credibility restored on the channel, who thought it was a grand idea to have a pair of “serious” journalists clowning in mascot attire like they were the daybreak team for “Good Morning Grand Rapids”?!

CNN's Brianna Keilar and Boris Sanchez dress in costumes and demonstrate an eclipse for viewers pic.twitter.com/bIrNtwHX9p

— Zachary Leeman (@WritingLeeman) April 8, 2024

Distinguished International Reporting

• 24-7/RCG Media - Mexico

On the subject of news outlets desperate to fill the screen with eclipse coverage, one Mexican station was caught off guard in its rush to include amateur video from viewers. One submission in particular was recognized by the man who offered up his…er, footage. (Translated)

• “Greetings to all my people from Saltillo who had to watch my eggs on television because those from @rcg_media neglected to review the video of the eclipse carefully.” 

It turned out that staffers posting his clip on the air failed to notice that it was not the moon blocking out the sun in that image but the man’s testicles before the director hastily cut away from the video.

Un saludo a toda mi gente de Saltillo que tuvieron que ver mis huevos en televisión porque a los de @rcg_media se les pasó revisar bien el video del eclipse. Los amo.

— Rhevolver (@Rhevolver) April 8, 2024

The New York Post Prize for Distinguished Headline Writing

• Jalopnik

Accolades go out to the car experts for noticing this dose of synchronicity taking place.

Ford Bronco Sport, OJ Simpson Recalled On Same Day https://t.co/zrMvwHR7BT pic.twitter.com/IcyOIHBWCy

— Jalopnik (@Jalopnik) April 11, 2024

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

• Eric Deggans - National Public Radio

The fallout from the expose written by Uri Berliner about the slide of NPR into a hyper-partisan continues to evolve, and the amusement seen from staffers grappling with how to react has been a constant. Picking a favorite, though, was rather easy. The network’s television critic, Deggans, has penned several responses, and they can all be filed under the same DENIAL heading. His most quixotic defense has to be when he declared it unseemly that before publishing his column, Berliner did not first seek commentary from someone at the network.

Many things wrong w/terrible Berliner column on NPR, including not observing basic fairness. Didn't seek comment from NPR before publishing. Didn't mention many things which could detract from his conclusions. Set up staffers of color as scapegoats: https://t.co/6StjuUwpnh

— Eric Deggans at NPR (@Deggans) April 10, 2024

He deems it unfair that the executive editor who has spent two and a half decades working inside NPR did not speak to somebody inside NPR, to say nothing of Berliner detailing that for years, his concerns had been roundly ignored by those at the network.

Distinguished Local Reporting

• Peggy Gallek - Fox 8 I-Team, Sandusky

We have another news item of an illegal immigrant committing a crime. Twenty-year-old Yeixon Brito-Gonzalez, from Venezuela, was apparently desperate for cash and decided to rob a bank. His plan was only slightly impaired by his inability to get the tellers to comply, something brought up by the fact that he does not speak the language. Undeterred however, the intrepid would-be heist-meister made a cagey play – he turned to his phone and used a translation app to alert the staff he was there to relieve them of some of the cash on hand.

Suspect tries to rob bank using translator app.

Police say the suspect did not speak English and was using a translator app to tell tellers “get the money” and “put the money in the bag.” https://t.co/uYbvxO4V2e

— James Hirsen (@thejimjams) April 13, 2024