The Remmy Award Press Nominations: Immigrants Riot Locally, As Biden Walks Successfully,

Remmy Awards. (Credit: Brad Slager via AI/Bing Image Creator)

In recognizing the dregs of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and general media malpractice, we have created "The Golden Remington Awards," a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on these hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today in audacious fashion.

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These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, for this year’s Remmys.


Distinguished National Reporting

  • Kellie Meyer - NewsNation

With all of the excitement swirling around Joe Biden’s diminished cerebral faculties, many in the press have worked on explaining to us just how mentally adroit he is in person. NewsNation’s White House correspondent Meyer tries to sell this concept via the fact that she witnessed President Biden walking in a straight line, so there you go — he is perfectly in his right mind!


Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Colin Jost - Saturday Night Live

With Joe Biden’s mental decline becoming more evident, what's also been revealed is the media's desperation not to comment on the obvious. In many cases, the attempt is to deflect from it by commenting on Donald Trump’s condition. One example of this desperation came from “Saturday Night Live,” where comedian (and graduate of Harvard, ahem) Colin Jost tried to mock Trump’s declining condition.

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Jost mocked Trump when he “introduced an interesting new term, called ‘debanking.’” Jost suggested Trump needs to see a doctor for making up a term…that is in truth a known financial term for a practice that is taking place currently. 


Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Will Bunch - Philadelphia Inquirer

When the story came out that a gang of illegals in New York City had attacked police officers, some in the press looked for ways to dismiss this uncomfortable side effect of Biden’s open borders policy. Will Bunch thought he had concocted the perfect deflection, suggesting that this was merely a local story and those with an agenda had blown this up into a national story for political purposes.

As if the press has not taken local stories involving police and blown those up into national news items to forward an agenda, such as with George Floyd, Michael Brown, Tyre Nichols, etc.

Also, the detail of these being people from a foreign land and traveling across the country to New York seems to indicate it qualifies as more than a local interest item.

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Distinguished International Reporting

  • Barbie Latza - CNN

In Italy, a 13-year-old girl was attacked and gang-raped by seven Egyptian migrants, but CNN appears more concerned that this could lead to more outrage from the far-right government and its supporters. Yes, “conservatives pounce” has gone international. “The case was soon seized upon as evidence that migrants should be blocked from entering the country.” Making this approach more oblivious is that it not only diminishes the import of such a crime, but it also downplays the fact that this outrage is somewhat justified in the face of TWO other cases of gang rapes taking place last summer.


 Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Noah Berlatsky - CNN

As the 50th anniversary of the release of “Blazing Saddles” arrived, there was a need to slander conservatives in the process. In this dose of desperation, Berlatsky tries to suggest that those “right-wingers” who embrace the film miss out on the detail that the movie is mocking their racism (because all right-wingers are racist, you understand), and that if anyone were to oppose the film being remade, it would be those on the right. This, despite the writer providing all of the evidence of leftist offenses to the film’s content.

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Distinguished Rice Cake Award (Presented for non-story content)

  • Chelsey Sanchez - Harper’s Bazaar

Look, we are certain there is an audience that is just eager to devour any news about the deposed royals, Prince Hank and his wife. But even so, is that hunger to know all there is about them so rapacious that you need to have updates concerning something they did NOT do?!

At Harper’s they felt it was news that the palace pariahs did not attend the Super Bowl this past weekend. As for what kept them away, we could not tell you; this type of headline qualifies as click-repellent.


Distinguished Coverage of Frozen Desserts 

  • Emily Heil - Washington Post

Using a campaign stop as the foundation for this probing exploration into Joe Biden’s year-round ice cream consumption, Heil expanded her coverage to analyze those people who consume ice cream in even frigid conditions. But we are comforted by getting the specifics of Biden’s order as well.

Between a speech on his economic agenda and a private “kitchen table conversation” with a group of voters, Biden ordered a vanilla milkshake with chocolate syrup (“triple thick,” he told reporters) for takeout from a Raleigh location of the North Carolina-based fast-food chain Cook Out.

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