The Pulitzer Prize Dis-Honors: Robots Croon, Bagels Eschewed, and Celebrity Raccoons

(AP Photo/Stack’s Bowers Galleries)

Our weekly unworthy Pulitzer Prize recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From the Headlines, we once again note the sub-exalted performances from our journalism industry in numerous categories to properly recognize the low watermark in the press.


Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Joe Scarborough – MSNBC

Mr. Scarborough conducted an interview for Morning Joe, his eponymous show, (or is it titular? Or maybe both? Either?) He sat down with Senator John Fetterman and we need to recall how about one year ago it was forbidden to bring up the topic of his condition resulting from a stroke. Scar-Jo leaned heavily into the topic during their talk, and then he made a very curious equivalency.

Fetterman was elevated comparatively to Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill, based on the fact that those esteemed leaders also endured their own physical challenges. So Senator Fetterman is raised to the strata of the greats for being ill, not for doing anything.

Distinguished International Reporting

  • James Crawford-Smith – Newsweek

There was a doltish theory in the days following the ceremony event in England last weekend. (I think they inaugurated a new king…?) One story to emerge was that a character seen in the gallery with a mop of hair and a bushy mustache could have been Meghan Markle attending the event in disguise.

It has been reported that the individual cited is an actual person, British composer Sir Karl Jenkins, and he asserts that his appearance during the ceremony is his normal visage.


Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Lucas Ropek – Gizmodo

The rise of artificial intelligence is accelerating, as is the dystopia associated with the technology. One of the areas seeing a spike in AI content is in the music industry, where people are able to feed parameters into the programming and see generated “songs” that resemble the output of known biological artists. “Albums” made to resemble Drake, Oasis, and The Weekend have been spread across social media. It is also infecting music streamers.

Spotify is now making a move to remove AI-generated songs that users are uploading and generating royalties from listeners. One other move made by the music platform is to address those using bot-farm services that they pay to generate higher listener counts on the site to boost the popularity of these fake albums. This means we have entered the era of computers creating music being listened to by other computers and promoted by computer algorithms.

Distinguished Feature Writing

  • Jeremy Fuster – The Wrap

For long years the Humane Society has had representatives appointed to film sets to ensure that any animals that are filmed have been treated in a compassionate fashion. This has been done so the film can achieve a seal of approval from the organization, something that appears in the end credits of movies. Now it appears PETA wants in on the action.


The recent smash hit “Guardians Of The Galaxy: Vol. 3” has been granted a note of praise from the infamous vegan activists, who looked over the depiction of the character Rocket Raccoon and have dubbed the film “The best animal rights film of the year.” Ignoring the fact that we are barely halfway through the month of May so this seems a tad premature, there is one more pressing detail diminishing this laudatory announcement: The character they praise is a completely computer-generated talking mammal. Well…at least this ensures no animal could possibly be mistreated during the production.

Distinguished National Reporting

  • Beth Harpaz – The Forward

There is an insistence in the national press to have SCOTUS Justice Clarence Thomas brought down with a contrived scandal of having received gifts and benefits from a friend over the years. Despite the fact that those favors have been shown to not be an ethical issue, as they are received from a friend and that person is someone who has not had a vested interest in Court activities, the charges persist. Meanwhile, Justice Sonia Sotomayor ruling on items involving a publisher from which she has been paid millions has not been scrutinized.


But this is not to say the liberal justices have been ignored. Elena Kagan has had her own gifting issue brought forward, but it appears clear this has been done to cast Thomas in an even more negative light. We are told Justice Kagan once was tabbed to receive a gift basket of breakfast bagels and lox from high school friends, but she demurred on receiving it due to ethics violations for gifting.

Distinguished Local Reporting

  • Ashley Oliver – KNST News 27

In a recent spate of severe storms in the Topeka area, one twister nearly touched down, but the winds experienced did in fact deliver a small measure of damage.

Severe storms that moved through northeast Kansas this week caused minimal damage across the area. Nancy Kimbrough is well known in Clay Center for her baking, especially her pies. Kimbrough said her son was delivering some of her baked goods to the Clay Center Country Club for its weekly dinner on Tuesday afternoon just as the storm arrived. She said the wind was so strong, it ripped the meringue top right off a coconut cream pie and splattered it across the parking lot. Despite the wind damage, the kitchen decided to go ahead and serve the pie to guests. “He was digging the Cool Whip out of the freezer,” Kimbrough said. “He goes, ‘Don’t worry about it… We’ll fix it.’”


Distinguished Headline Writing (The NY Post Honor)

  • Kyrie Jones – People Magazine

Was the 2-year-old walking the dog? Was he doing so in a second-story window?? And what happened to the dog???



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