The Pulitzer Prize Dis-Honors: Baby Titles, Kammy's Letter Tiles, and Lizard Coitus Smiles

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. To properly recognize the low watermark in the press, let us get right to the latest exemplars of journalistic mis-excellence.

Distinguished International Reporting

New Indian Express

Allowing for cultural differences is one thing, but even with that in mind, the mind reels with questions, when you get a story like this one.

Who has this kind of fetish? How do you find four people together willing to do this?? Who on earth is willing to do it in front of other people?? And just what in the hell were they doing recording this act?? The last thing in the world that would come to my mind would be capturing evidence that I had done this, that might float around. Now you have to wonder if their trial will be televised, because honestly, they might want to remain locked up for life — out of fear anyone would recognize them in the future.

According to officials during the investigation, the forest officials found that the accused had allegedly raped a Bengal monitor lizard and their act was also recorded in a mobile phone of one of the accused persons.https://t.co/Ance6J79bQ

— The New Indian Express (@NewIndianXpress) April 14, 2022

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

Andrew Court – New York Post

The cliche’ is: “There’s one born every minute,” but what do you say about one who is born to suckers?

I'm a professional baby namer: Rich parents pay me $10K do it for them https://t.co/jhHv0PU4kY pic.twitter.com/edMrWj3Wes

— New York Post (@nypost) April 13, 2022

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

Dan Evon – Snopes

There have been reports in recent times that the fact-checkers working for the likes of Facebook have been overtaxed with assignments. I call this garbage, based on the sheer amount of asinine reports these discounts of verite’ produce. Case in point: Snopes felt the need to dig into claims on some random social media accounts claiming that the makers of Snickers was removing the swirled coating on the candy bars because they resemble the veined appearance of a turgid phallus.

Yes, this work is FAR more important than verifying the endless stream of garbage claims made by the Biden administration. This was such a hot news item that the company itself had to join in on the craze.

Good news, contrary to what's trending on Twitter… THE VEINS REMAIN! pic.twitter.com/pzfkoYqvyD

— SNICKERS (@SNICKERS) April 19, 2022

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

The responsible thing would be to wait for the autopsy report. We do not want to jump to conclusions on a matter like this.

M.D. Johnson – Field And Stream

The man's personal snake collection included rattlesnakes, cobras, black mambas, and a 14-foot Burmese python https://t.co/aj9JmRTFVq

— Field & Stream (@FieldandStream) April 16, 2022

Distinguished National Reporting

Claire McNear – The Ringer

Well, if the Wordle craze has not died off yet, this news just might be the fatal blow. Most disturbing: finding out that people who played consider themselves “Wordlers.”

The @VP is an admitted Wordle obsessive. So what is her strategy? Does she have a preferred first word? And how long is her streak? @clairemcnear interviewed her to find out. https://t.co/1OJHHSKP1l

— The Ringer (@ringer) April 18, 2022

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

Brie Anna Frank – USA Today

More intrepid clarifications from the social media realm, this time looking into the photo someone posted on their Facebook account. They made the claim the image was of a distant relative who had been the first flight attendant, dating back to the year 1914. Ms. Frank is on the case, however, protecting the public from being misled by this claim.