The RedState 2021 Pulitzer Prize Parody Awards — Where All the Winners Are...Not (Part 2)

Credit: Jim Thompson, used with permission.

Dishonoring some of the inglorious work by the media from the past year.

[ CLICK Here for the first half of these illustrious media honors.]

On the regular here in this column, we recognize the foibles and fumbles, the distractions and disservice, and the misdeeds and malpractice in the mainstream media. In order to properly recognize the efforts at abandoning their mission statements and the hard work behind not doing their jobs, we decided to choose those at the nadir of their profession, across a number of categories.

So here’s the second listing of the various media efforts made throughout the 2020 mutation that was the 2021 Variant, and…congratulations to the…winners…I guess…???

The Sam Adams Committee Honor – Named after the Confederate newspaperman who was willing to write anything for the cause, facts being a secondary issue.

WINNER – Chris Cillizza  Chris had a yearlong performance of delivering ardent, albeit conflicting commentary to sell America on what is proper. He scorched Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers for saying he would do his own COVID research, in a video where Chris then said of COVID facts, “Do the research!” He tried to mock Sen. Ted Cruz over saying his kids were being indoctrinated, then when telling people to follow medical experts Cillizza took the position of saying we need to take COVID teachings from Big Bird

In giving reasons why former Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker would be a horrible choice for Republicans, his list echoed the traits of recently elected Raphael Warnock. Then, after previously slamming Oregon GOP legislators for running away, he saw the Texas Dems flying to DC as “[t]he visuals were powerful.”

In his newsletter, Cillizza wrote about Kamala Harris’ magic, as her poll numbers were plunging. Within days, he bemoaned all the people attending college football games in the pandemic — while also raving about how great it was to see them all returning to stadiums. 

 

Distinguished Cultural Commentary

  • Brent Lang – Variety  Recently, the motion picture adaptation of one of playwright Andrew Lloyd Webber’s biggest productions became one of Hollywood’s biggest failures. As it turns out, the movie “Cats” was so bad he had to get a therapy dog.  
  • Ellen Byron – Wall Street Journal  Are chicken nuggets the most popular food going these days? You bet Jurassic is! The Wall Street Journal is diligently on the case of all the developments of fun-shaped, mechanically-extruded, deep-fried chicken paste delectables! The WSJ declares this to be the Golden Age of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.
  • Jackie Alemany – Washington Post  During the fervor of the arrival of the Joe Biden administration, the press was tripping over themselves to report on the First Couple with glee. Alemany was positively giddy with how the First Lady wore something deeply pedestrian but insisted Jill’s look was fashion-forward. The new first lady, Jill Biden, made news last week … for wearing a scrunchie.Sporting floral earrings, a pink coat, a black mask and carrying her own bags of treats and baked goods, it was Biden’s scrunchie that really lit up the Internet.Leave it to a scrunchie to capture the zeitgeist of President Biden’s promise. The journalist also tweeted out how Jill’s look was one of “Radical normalcy.” 
  • Riley Black – Slate  On Netflix, the streamer offered up a new low in reality dating shows, where people desperate for attention would…hide their identity. Couples would go on blind dates dressed as college football mascots, to learn the real them or something. It was a cultural blight, so of course, it was given a sequel. Over at Slate, they took this show seriously, and then gave the real critique needed – the program was not an accurate portrayal of the Furry lifestyle.
  • WINNER – Various Outlets  At the 2021 edition of The Met gala Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had the press absolutely losing their minds with glee as she wore her now infamous “Tax The Rich” gown. Her idiotic statement was made dumber when she declared she wore the getup for the theme of “In America” to highlight immigrant designers, in a dress made by a woman from Toronto who is dating the son of the Seagrams fortune.

Distinguished Editorial Writing

  • Tyler Weyant – Politico  Pandemic pandemonium, reports Politico, as plastic portable public powder rooms in Portland are un-plentiful. Gotta admit, of all the COVID calamities, we did not expect this to be an issue. 
  • Becky Ferreira – Vice News  Man, we humans are terrible. Due to our own addictions, we are getting fish hooked on the hard stuff. A study suggests that the human waste from drug users – and, presumably, dealers flushing their stash during raids – aquatic life can become addicted to the polluting drug residue. This does raise a specter though: With rising food prices, you have to wonder just how high the market price will be for “Meth Trout’” on seafood menus.
  • Nathan Bomey – Axios  Taking a stand against corporate malfeasance, Bomey scorched the PR team at Volkswagen for deceptive tactics. “I desperately want to restore trust in journalism. That’s why it’s so critical that we must be able to trust our sources. Without it, misinformation flourishes. To everyone out there celebrating the fact that VW lied to reporters, including me.” What had Bomey so enraged is that when he reported the car company announced it was renaming itself Volts-Wagen, he had fallen for an April Fool’s prank.
  •  Tiffany Cross – MSNBC  Taking a page from Joy Reid, Cross had a doctor on her show to discuss the high rates of blacks who were not getting vaccinated. They found out who was to blame for this; white supremacists.  “I actually see that as another example of the proliferation of white supremacy. Because, in particular, they are targeting communities of color. And they are targeting the historical injustices, the atrocity, that communities of color have experienced, as a way to play on their vulnerabilities.” Of course, to sell this bat-crap theory, two things need to be in place; that the black community takes directions based on the ravings of white racists, and that white supremacists have a better messaging outreach than MSNBC and Tiffany Cross. 
  • WINNER Grace Cook – New York Times  In a lengthy exploration on the dire effects imparted onto the planet, Cook explains in detail how tote bags are a vile product and can ruin the environment. The cotton crops use too much water, the bags are not recyclable, and Chinese-made bags employ slave labor. As she writes: “An organic cotton tote needs to be used 20,000 times to offset its overall impact of production, according to a 2018 study. That equates to daily use for 54 years — for just one bag.” Considering what a knapsack nightmare these items appear to be, it remains a curiosity how the very same newspaper has so many of these planet-killing pouches for sale!

 

Distinguished Fact-Checking

  • Devon Link – USA Today  While many in the press believe Dr. Anthony Fauci should be sainted, the truth is he has fallen short. The intrepid truth detectors at the nation’s newspaper looked into the family tree of the revered Dr. Fauci and determined that he is NOT the son of Mother Theresa
  • Glenn Kessler – Washington Post  Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg turned many heads when he gave a speech on infrastructure and declared city planners had built racist bridges, which were too low for buses in order to keep minorities away from white beaches.  Glenn Kessler defended him by noting the book it was based upon, a biography he called “One of the best non-fiction books ever written.” He then had to change his opinion two days later once the fact-checker learned the book is largely disputed. 
  • Snopes  The revered viscounts of verite’ have become a questionable source – okay, questionable-er – as a result of an internal scandal. Its co-founder, David Mikkelson, was discovered to have lifted content from other sources, and as a result of his plagiarism, Snopes pulled down SIXTY of its totally verified and unquestionably accurate pieces.
  • Bethania Palmer – Snopes  Following the riot in the Capitol, news came out that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had been in direct danger that fateful day. Not long after, it was then noted that she was not actually close to the activity and had embellished her plight. Snopes bravely rode in to declare that even though AOC was in a completely different building during the fracas, the smears about her not being in danger were Mostly False. 
  • WINNER Glenn Kessler – Washington Post  In verifying things spoken by Joe Biden this year Kessler has struggled to make the President look good. The worst was in a CNN town hall, Biden answered in the affirmative when he was asked by an audience member if he had visited the border since becoming President. It was found that the last time he had been near the Southern border was during a campaign visit in 2008, and his motorcade drove by. Kessler looked at this and determined, “It’s almost like counting a refueling stop as a visit to a country. But it’s enough that we will leave this UNRATED.”

 

**And now for the BIG award, the recognition of the biggest media performance of the year. The nominees are-

 

Distinguished Public Service

  • ‘Ivermectin Follies’ – Rolling Stone  This fall when the drug Ivermectin became a hot-button subject, the music magazine gave a report on how hospitals in Oklahoma were so overrun with Ivermectin poisonings that people with gunshot wounds had to wait in the parking lot. After being repeated widely across the news landscape, this story was so bad the outlet issued updates twice, rendering it completely bogus.
  • ‘The Cuomo Empire: Season Two – CNN  The ongoing fiasco that was Governor Andrew Cuomo and his fully compromised little brother, Christopher, was a year-long saga. That they both had become stripped of their titles, culminating with the season finale of Chris being fired, was a constant source of material for our binge-watching pleasure.
  • ‘The Handout Fable’ – CNN  In the swelling rapture that was the arrival of Joe Biden, the press felt any and all fawning coverage was appropriate. CNN, one morning, declared that poor Joe had occupied the office and discovered he was left with absolutely no vaccine distribution network. With over 21 million vaccines administered when he was sworn in, and officials, as well as Dr. Fauci, disputing the claim, the story released around 9:00 am had been proven false before lunchtime the same day.
  • ‘Lariats Of Fire’ – Various Outlets  For days the media exploded with breathless reports of border agents on horseback mercilessly whipping poor downtrodden immigrants entering our land of empty milk coolers and bare shelves of honey. The reports caused agencies to punish the agents, President Biden pledged to take action, and journos decried how we descended into an era of slavery. Grave stuff, save for the minute detail that it never actually occurred.
  • WINNER:  ‘The Hour Of DeSantis’ – 60 Minutes  The press has been in a perpetual drive to bring down Florida’s governor, and in equal perpetuity, they have been exposed as partisan hacks in their attempts. The biggest comes from the allegedly revered news source from CBS News. The news magazine claimed they pegged a pay-for-play scandal where Ron DeSantis paid back a favor to campaign donor Publix Supermarkets to distribute vaccines. That he was making the vaccine available to residents was overlooked, that the stores saw no financial benefit in giving away a shot for free was ignored, and that no actual evidence of the program’s claims was presented was not a consideration. It was shown the producers had ignored facts given to them by Democrat officials that disputed their charges, and they manipulated recordings in order to fit their narrative. This story was so bad that it had become entirely debunked before it was even broadcast on that Sunday evening.