The Pulitzer Prize Parody Nominations: A Cauliflower Assault, McDonalds Extra Salt, and Biden's Tan Suit

The Pulitzer Prize Parody Nominations: A Cauliflower Assault, McDonalds Extra Salt, and Biden's Tan Suit
(AP Photo/Stack’s Bowers Galleries)

Our weekly recognition of less-than meritorious excellence in journalism is worthy of Pulitzer consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions to the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. To properly recognize the low watermark in the press, let us get right to the latest exemplars of journalistic mis-excellence.

Distinguished Public Service

  • Amanda Jackson – CNN

With the help of Rep. Cori Bush, the Apple News Network framed the debate over the eviction moratorium when it featured a woman from North Las Vegas, with her three children, who was unable to work and on the verge of losing her home. As a result, a GoFundMe was started that swelled to over $200,000. Only later did it occur to the NEWS NETWORK to engage in journalism.

  • Update: After CNN aired a story about her potential eviction, Dasha Kelly clarified to CNN that she is not the mother of the three children featured in the story. CNN has verified she takes care of the children in her home for periods of time. She says she originally described herself to CNN as a mother because she considers herself to be like one to them. CNN has learned the children are also cared for by their mother, Shadia Hilo, and their father, David Allison, who is Kelly’s boyfriend.


Distinguished Editorial Writing

  • John Healy — Los Angeles Times

The press in D.C. managed to ruin all the talk of ending the Senate filibuster when they went full-on cheerleading for the Democrats from Texas, who fled their state to prevent votes on voting rights. Yea, it’s tough to say you oppose a method of blocking legislation when you are supporting an illegal method of blocking legislation.

At the LA Times, Deputy Page Editor John Healy was undeterred, however. He penned a new lobbying effort on behalf of removing the accursed tactic from the Senate, Remind Me Why We Need The Filibuster.” Well, to answer Healy’s rhetorical, the reason is that it was not long ago when the press was lobbying to keep the filibuster. Not just the press, but the LA Times. And not just that newspaper, but John Healy himself.


Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Cameron Jenkins —The Hill 

With so little in the way of serious news to report on, the diligent minds at The Hill were on the case of President Joe Biden’s sartorial decisions, which were made for him last week. Some people may have noted how Biden was seen in a tan suit during a presser last week. (It was really a shade closer to Mediterranian Parchment or Filbert Husk.)

We learn that Biden intentionally wore this outfit as a nod to his former boss, Barack Obama, who just turned 60. And here we thought Biden was paying homage to Obama by replicating his practice of placing immigrant children in cages.


Distinguished Local Reporting

  • Hana Kim — KCPQ FOX 13 Seattle

Not to make light of any type of assault, but there is a bit of a question as to why a reporter would be compelled to share with the public what occurred with her during a report, once she came to the realization as to what happened

Kim was conducting an interview outside when someone approached and threw an item at her, striking her. Again, never an action to be encouraged, but once she saw that what had taken place, maybe not reporting on it would have been just fine.


Distinguished International Reporting

  • The Daily Mail

In a detailed report out of Russia, we learn that a woman from the city of Omsk is taking the McDonald’s corporation to court. She has suffered from sustained moral damage, insulting her religious feelings, and breaking consumer protection laws. The suit is the result of McDonald’s having run commercials that inspired the woman to break her vow of fasting for lent.

She is suing over the cost of the meal — the equivalent of $14 US dollars.


Distinguished National Reporting

  • Rachael Bade, Garrett Ross, Eli Okun — Politico

The team at Politico Playbook cracked out the GOP-verb Thesaurus in order to lend the full weight of how the party was misbehaving in reaction to Rep. Cori Bush calling to defund the police while at the same time racking up tens of thousands of dollars in personal security details. As usual, the story was not about Democrat actions, but how the Republicans were reacting. In this one report, Politico uncorked a number of ways the GOP noticed what was happening, uncorking some new variations on the “Republicans pounce” trope.

The sharp minds at Politico note what the real problem is here.

  • The “GOP Latches on to Cori Bush Private Security Spending”
  • Republicans are salivating over a new interview in which Rep. Cori Bush (D-Mo.) defended spending $70k on private security for herself.
  • The NRCC has already started weaving Bush’s interview into their attack ads.

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