Had The Babylon Bee made this post they would be criticized for being too outlandish.

One of the running commentaries you hear frequently regarding Antifa and its hordes of black-clad pre-pubescent anarchists is that they were just in their parents’ basement the week before. It is a shorthand way of dismissing them as less-than-influential, but now in a remarkable happenstance this dismissive insult has in a way been proven correct. Rioters actually — LITERALLY — had their mothers coming out to defend them.

It has been a dizzying reality to watch the elected officials of cities like Seattle and Portland stand back and offer support to the rioters and Antifa goons, all while holding their police at bay and allowing these thugs to run rampant in their cities. When Federal authorities arrived last week in Portland we have heard more of an outcry over the authoritarian agents than about the illegalities that have been permitted for nearly 2 months. It was in reaction to these agents in town that this weekend’s comedy played out.

On Saturday as curfews went ignored and the onyx-outfitted occupiers were roaming the streets a phalanx of Karens came out to stand arm-in-arm, chanting, all to protect their kids from the federal agents in town. Yes – seriously. It is the kind of thing I wish I had dreamed up for the sake of merriment and satire, but here they have ruined it. Moms actually came out to shield their precious vandals.

Portland moms form human barrier to protect protesters from federal officers https://t.co/tygvMvD8rW pic.twitter.com/ANFteDWVuw

— The Hill (@thehill) July 20, 2020

That these social activists fail to see their message gets slightly undercut with the presence of being protected by Mom is also good material. Your outrage loses a bit of its venom when you resort to raging at a cop with, ”You’re lucky my Mom is here, Pig!’’

This scene actually speaks on so many levels, and each of those illustrates what many have been saying for some time now about Portland — just let the city crumble under its own ignorance. The image of a blockade of Hens who brought juice boxes and Lunchables for their rioting progeny is the perfect message of what is wrong with that city. 

It shows they raised these kids to be privileged cranks who are above accountability. They are the typical parent we have seen who coddle rather than teach right and wrong, so they let them run rampant with inflated self-esteem. They also have a warped impression of safety, because most parents would consider it a far wiser move to remove their kids from a social flare-up, but not here. The Moms turn to the cops and demand they be the ones who restrain themselves. 

That's because they declared the police grounded for 2 weeks.
''You want to try for 3 weeks?! Then you better put that baton away and scoot home, mister!''

— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) July 20, 2020

These are the parents who see a problem at school and blame everyone but their own dear child. If a student is going to be failed or held back these are the moms who elevate the situation to a court case. This is a household where the inability to say ‘’No’’ is so ingrained that they instead need to pass laws that outlaw Happy Meal toys.

It used to be that kids were required to be home when the streetlights came on, now Moms link arms in an intersection during primetime so Cody and Bryson can go around and smash streetlights without the mean police interfering. 

The chanting of ‘’Leave our kids alone’’ speaks to so much. These are people who deserve to have their city reduced to a smoldering pile — because it will be at the hands of their precious offspring.

Night 52 of protests in Portland saw a wall of mothers standing firm in a line against camouflage-clad feds at the courthouse chanting "stay clear, the moms are here" and "leave our kids alone." Right up until the tear gas and flashbangs resumed. pic.twitter.com/lxQByARsBE

— Alejandro Alvarez (@aletweetsnews) July 19, 2020