The Activist Outrage at the “Avengers” Is Infinitely Stupid

 

It was the most successful movie debut of all time, but we must rage at the presence of hateful hair.

 

As the first film to ever have an opening weekend grossing over $250 million Marvel/Disney’s “Avengers: Infinity Wars” managed to exceed even the lofty projections made in the days ahead. Fans are raving, critics are impressed, and the studios are satisfied with saving money on a printing press, as the cash is rolling in.

Yet since a cultural phenomenon is taking place some loudmouth activists with the personality of a corgi with distemper and the subtlety of a carnival barker have to rise up and carve a piece of the spotlight for themselves. One such “outrage” is over the capillature representations of The Avengers.

These are the times in which we live. Radical carping about the inequities of our most extremely bountiful society have not only become the norm, they are almost to the point of being expected. And thankfully, they are mostly being mocked. Outrage mobs are heaping scorn on a high school girl because of her prom dress. A woman-of-color performer harps on hotels because their sample-size shampoo is supposedly intended for white women.

When these are the things to get you riled up, your life is actually rather blessed. Yet there is a huge faction in this country that feels they just need to bitch about something. If something is not wrong, then there is a problem! This mentality certainly gets applied to our entertainment as well. The hectoring busy-body do-gooder hand-wringers do not feel fulfilled unless they can spot unfulfilled quotas.

Some recent favorites:

  • Pixar’s cartoon “Inside Out” was hateful for portraying Sadness as an overweight woman. (It was designed after a teardrop, you emotional dolts.)
  • The animated short “Lava” was sexist because a corpulent volcano fell in love with a lithe female island, and this coupling was not realistic. (The characters were modeled after real-life Hawaiian personalities, you hysterical goobers.)
  • Deray McKesson from Black Lives Matter was offended by a CGI ape wearing what he declared was “his” blue vest. (The ape wore that vest in the original franchise from the 1970s, you self-centered mook.)
  • Recently Amy Schumer was lambasted for her latest film “I Feel Pretty”. She hoped to address the challenges of being a plus-size woman, but she was met with activists saying as a white woman she had no right to such a complaint. (I guess white women are never shamed for their appearance, you close-minded scolds.)

In the vein of that same diluted dysphoria comes a lecture from Rebecca Jennings, at Racked. Her issue is that the female Avengers members of the immense cast do not tie up their hair at any point in the film. No, seriously. That is the complaint.

Superheroes Don’t Wear Ponytails, and Yes, It’s Sexist” screaches the headline, defying you to read further. Jennings even finds an assistant professor willing to go on record and confirm her infantile “Infinity” theorem, declaring comic books are still the realm of a boys club, and the females are stuck in sexist stereotypes.

“The Avengers” is hateful, because of the abject lack of scrunchies, understand.

Best of all, as frequently happens with the outrage mobs, Jennings manages to completely invalidate her own premise, in asking ‘why?’.

The simplest answer is that comics are a visual medium, and a bunch of long, flowing hair swirling around during an already epic fight scene looks pretty cool. Camille Friend, the head of the hair departments for Marvel’s Black Panther, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and the upcoming Captain Marvel starring Brie Larson, pretty much confirms that that’s at least the way Hollywood sees it.

Thank you then, no need to busy yourself any further. Your outrage has been noted. And discarded. And laughed at.

There will always be these types who feel it their duty to invent a crisis and declare hate is at play. This falls directly into the category described recently by the creator of “The Simpsons”, Matt Groening. Responding to the outrage (“faux-troversy”?) that recently cropped up around his character of Apu, as a result of a comedian’s documentary explaining why it is not funny Groening said, “I think it’s a time in our culture where people love to pretend they’re offended.” That perfectly sums up protest-posturing over ponytails.

Some may call this sad, but I choose to look at it as a source of merriment. Mocking these self-serious would-be do-gooders wishing to fix our entertainment is consistently entertaining

I actually look forward to the next reactionary bleating. Will “My Little Pony” incur a similar backlash??? Consider this, as it is so laden with ponytails, is there not the real possibility for it to be considered overtly cliched, and thus sexist?