Donald Trump Goes Full Beta

If you were alive during the Republican primaries, a common theme arose from the mouths of dedicated Trump supporters everywhere.

He wins! He fights! And perhaps most descriptively; He’s an alpha!


If you didn’t want to get in the dirt and endorse jokes about grabbing *****, well then you were a beta. If you cared about having logical policy positions, you were a beta. If you didn’t think deporting 11 million illegals was realistic, you were a cuck…but also a beta. If you didn’t think his inarticulate and vapid debate performances were worthy of comparisons to Lincoln, well, you were just a beta.

Millions of over-compensating Trump supporters attempted to live vicariously through him, becoming weirdly obsessed with his supposed manliness and oddly defensive about his hand size.

Ann Coulter, who has now turned on the President after once writing a book entitled “In Trump We Trust,” was one of the chief architects of this narrative before she was (un)surprisingly betrayed on her #1 issue of immigration…

“I like the fact because [Trump] is a strong alpha male leader, that the Arabs respect him,” Coulter said to host Judge Jeanine Pirro. “They don’t respect the beta male Obama. And you see that. He’s getting a warmer reception. In fact, they probably like that radical Islam stuff. I don’t think they mind. MSNBC was going crazy, ‘They will be so upset with the Muslim ban.’ No, Saudi Arabia bans Christians, what do they care? They understand the idea of sovereign nations.”


You got that? President Reagan, who stood up in the face of possible total nuclear destruction and defeated the Soviet Union? Just another run of the mill beta.

The absurdity of all this could be excused if Trump were indeed inclined to stand on his word and actually fight as his most ardent supporters proclaim he does. Unfortunately for the President’s street cred, reality got in the way.

Our supposed gladiator of a President spends much of his day reacting to cable news criticism of himself. Is there anything more beta than having your entire life outlook dictated by the whims of the media? Like an abused lover, they can slap him around for months, eliciting his rage, but one positive story will have him on his back purring your praises. Dare to not tow the line on even the smallest issue? Well, that’ll earn you an angry tweet and proclamations of your irrelevance, even as his response shows he did indeed find you relevant.

Donald Trump and ‘Morning Joe’ are so on again, off again that it makes Katy Perry’s love life look stable. When they aren’t attempting to destroy each other, they are having secret flings in Florida and talking wedding plans. The New York Times spends nearly every inch of their publication describing the similarities between Trump and Hitler, but the Donald still runs to give them off the record interviews anyway. Media approval is cat-nip to this guy. He dances like a puppet on a string for anyone who offers him a hint of positive coverage.


There’s a word for someone so easily manipulated and obsessed with the opinions of others.


On the policy front, President Trump is now taking twitter orders from Nancy Pelosi and letting Chuck Schumer dictate his agenda. When you are getting dominated by a guy who would break into tears watching Homeward Bound, you aren’t an alpha male. “But he’s sticking it to Paul Ryan!” they tell me. Because when you want to “stick” it to someone on your team, running to the opposing team and telling them to punch you makes perfect sense. That just screams alpha.

He’s still got immigration though, right? That was the one issue that was supposed to differentiate him from the sea of supposed betas in the primaries. He was the only one “tough” on illegal immigration! “They have to go back” he’d shout to adoring fans across the country.

Nah, he’s folded on that issue as well. After rescinding DACA, it took about 12 hours of criticism for him to back down and signal he wouldn’t follow through on his threats. He went to twitter to announce he’d “revisit” the unconstitutional order if Congress didn’t act, effectively handing over all his leverage for no reason.


Way to play hardball there bro.

On healthcare, President Trump has effectively given up. He keeps irrationally shouting about the filibuster, even as the filibuster has nothing to do with the continued failure of the Senate’s attempts at repeal. Does anyone have faith tax reform will resemble anything worth having at this point?

On his coveted border wall, he’s managed to get basically no concessions except some already existing funding for research. Just two weeks after saying he’d shut down the government in order to see the wall built, he backed down and agreed to raise the debt ceiling with no conditions at all. North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un continues to cross his red line, laid out in his “fire and fury comments” as being continued threats. Trump’s reaction? Meh.

When given a chance after his election to follow through on his rhetoric to prosecute Hillary Clinton (and let’s be real, she deserved it), he wilted on national TV and proclaimed her a good person and that he didn’t want to hurt her. Even today, when given the chance to go after the blatantly corrupt Louis Lerner, Trump declines.


There’s a word for someone who consistently gets rolled this badly.


Donald Trump is a lot of things. Somewhere between the inane conspiracy theories on Russian collusion and those claiming he is the next George Washington lies the truth.  Ironically, given his supporter’s tact, he largely resembles your typical establishment Republican.

One thing I’m positive he’s not though is the Herculean alpha male that his most devoted followers built him up to be.






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