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HIGHER CULTURE: The Monologue Heard 'Round the World — One Year Later

(Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP, File)

I hear the same refrain from conservatives on social media over and over — “I don’t watch awards shows.” Well, that’s totally up to individual taste, I reckon. But even people tired of progressive rot in Hollywood can appreciate when someone serves them the ridicule they so richly deserve. Comedian and actor Ricky Gervais is that someone.

Ricky didn’t just host the Golden Globe awards show once, not twice, but five times. And on Tuesday, January 5, 2021, he invited his Twitter followers to celebrate the scathing, hilarious monologue he delivered as the show’s host last year; the ceremony was held on January 5, 2020 — exactly one year ago today.

The comedian also replied to someone in the comments of his post, who wondered if he was nervous standing up there in front of the very people he was making light of:

If you watched it, you know why this performance is worth revisiting. There were so many solid right hooks that landed on the high and mighty Hollywood elite, most of whom were sitting in the room, that I’m only going to pick out a few to highlight. Besides, you can watch the full thing, with the ever-important reaction shots of celebs and studio execs right there, to give context to Ricky’s punishing, but honest words (see the video below).

I’ll start at the monologue’s finale, with the comedian’s torching of corporate hypocrisy over China and its Uighur slave labor camps, and enviromental activist/pest Greta Thunberg:

Apple roared into the TV game with The Morning Show, a superb drama. A superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. So, well, you say you’re woke, but the companies you work for. I mean, unbelievable: Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS started a streaming service, you’d call your agent, wouldn’t you?

So if you do win an award tonight, please don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your God and f*** off.

Then there was these two bits, roasting not only the two most critically-acclaimed (but lengthy) films of the night, Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman and Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, but many of the nominated actors and the director of the former. Ricky also gets in jabs at both the UK’s Prince Andrew and Leonardo DiCaprio, who seemed to be fine with laughing at his reputation as a man who…let’s just say…dates outside of his generation.

So lots of big celebrities here tonight. I mean legends, icons. Look at this table alone. Al Pacino. Robert De Niro. Baby Yoda. Oh no, that’s Joe Pesci, sorry. I love you man, don’t have me whacked.

Martin Scorsese, the greatest living director, made the news for his controversial comments about the Marvel franchise. He said they’re not real cinema and they remind him of theme parks. I agree, although I don’t know what he’s doing hanging around theme parks. He’s not big enough to go on the rides. He’s tiny. The Irishman was amazing. It was amazing. Long, but amazing.

[…]

It wasn’t the only epic movie. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end, his date was too old for him. Even Prince Andrew’s like, ‘Come on Leo, mate, you know, you’re nearly 50, son.’

Ricky took the trite joke about how often awards shows run over their allotted time slot and turned it on its ear — by using it as an opportunity to promote his own TV show, “After Life.” And ended it with a damning indictment of the many “friends of Jeffrey Epstein” in the auditorium. Just incredible:

You could binge watch the entire first season of “After Life” instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer. And it’s still more fun than this. Okay, spoiler alert, season two is on the way. So in the end, he obviously didn’t kill himself – just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend, but I don’t care. You had to make your own way here on your own plane, didn’t you?

Of course, I have to mention the killer opening, with the pointed barb about Kevin Hart getting fired from hosting the Oscars as a part of SJW cancel culture:

You’ll be pleased to know this is the last time I’m hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore. I’m joking: I never did. NBC clearly don’t care either – fifth time. I mean, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets. Hello [pointing at himself].

Lucky for me, the Hollywood foreign press can barely speak English and they have no idea what Twitter is. I got offered this gig by fax.

This was a masterclass in how to beat the Left. Ridicule, holding up a mirror to their vanity, hypocrisy, and lack of creative spark in an industry that portrays itself as the magical world of the imagination. What Rick managed to do in less than eight minutes was deconstruct all of that fakery and show everyone that Hollywood’s not actually the place where dreams come true — it’s more of a living nightmare.

Courtesy of The Spectator, here’s the full transcript

Finally, here are all seven minutes and forty-nine seconds in all their glory, so you can enjoy it again: