'Crate Training': Adam Carolla Offers a Disturbing Explanation for Government's Masking of Kids

(AP Photo/Richard Drew)

Why have kids been masked in school? Adam Carolla has a theory, and it’s depressingly dark.

We’ve long known who’s vulnerable to COVID. The CDC posted survivability ratios near the end of 2020 — before any vaccine had been made available:

  • 0-19 years: 99.99997
  • 20-49 years: 99.9998
  • 50-69 years: 99.995
  • 70+ years: 99.946

And a January 2020 study found the following:

Even so, governments and teachers unions have insisted kids must be masked.

Elementary students have been contained in anti-coronavirus cubicles.

Some — including comedian Rob Schneider — have called it child abuse:

In the entertainment world, Rob’s not alone. Adam Carolla appeared on Tuesday’s edition of The Megyn Kelly Show podcast, and he had lots to say about de-facing America’s future.

“[I]n LA,” Megyn began, “they’ve just announced that the mask mandate for the kids is staying up and operable until the end of the year. They’re not taking it down.”


Why are our little ones still being muzzled? Adam offered an explanation.

“I want you to remember this phrase,” he replied, “because you say ‘the kids, the kids, the kids. The masks. Why?’ Why can the adults go anywhere? … [Y]ou can go maskless in a movie theater, an arena, (a) concert event, Trader Joe’s.”

“Why? Why the kids? And why the emphasis on the kids?” Carolla continued. “This hasn’t been dangerous for kids. We’ve known this.”

“This kills sick people, old people, obese people, comorbidity people. It doesn’t ostensibly effect kids. They’re in the safest category. So why keep drilling down on the kids? Why the constant converssation about the category of people this ostensibly doesn’t affect.”

Adam has an answer:

 “Just remember this phrase, Megyn: crate training.”

Before they can be brave, they’re being broken:

“You cannot train a dog when it’s middle-aged. You’ve got to get them when they’re puppies. And get them trained up and into that crate. And that’s what we’re doing with kids. Because this will not be the last emergency. And it will not be the last time the government and the governor and the mayor need to exact their power.”


“And so, ‘Let’s get the kids into the crate,’” he said. “’Let’s get them coached up. And then they’ll be ours. We can do whatever we want with them after that. They’ll listen to anything. They’ll be good subjects.’”

It’s a deeply disturbing idea.

Such can be said about more than just the masking of America’s young. Over the last two years, much of the country hasn’t shown itself to be particularly slow to submission.

At times, a sizable sector of the citizenry has followed orders with very few questions.

Recently, mask mandates have lessened. The virus is still here; nothing has changed in that regard. Yet now, many are revealing their orifices whereas just yesterday they were vocally devoted to face-diapering.

Despite official statements, “the science” hasn’t changed; nothing has been shown to that effect.

If it’s safe to now go unmasked, it seems, then it was fine six months ago. Conversely, if we were rightfully hiding our faces half a year ago, then we should be canvasing them now and for the rest of time.

Yet large numbers of people appear to be happily playing don’t-ask-why Simon Says.


If Carolla’s correct about another impending “emergency,” millions of Americans will doubtlessly be ready to mask with little to no explanatory evidence brought forth.

So go people. Or, some say, sheeple.

But for those who would otherwise refuse, according to Adam, that problem’s being solved before it becomes one.

Disturbing, indeed.



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