Call 'Em Chicken: KFC Flies the Coop Over COVID and Cancels Your Contaminated Claws

FILE - This April 18, 2011, file photo shows a KFC restaurant in Mountain View, Calif. KFC announced on June 13, 2017, that it plans to send a chicken sandwich to the edge of the atmosphere with the help of a high-altitude balloon. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma, File)

 

Does chicken sound good about now? How about some that’s finger lickin’ good?

Are you’re jonesin’ for that crispy, greasy, perfectly-fried confection compliments of a guy who looks like he’d have his statue torn down?

If so, I bring loathsome news: Officially, it won’t be as tasty as before.

Or as messy.

In light of the pandemic and our need to up our sanitary game, KFC’s suspending its “Finger Lickin’ Good” slogan.

I guess they assumed it was a command you couldn’t resist, and if they rescind the order, you’ll use a napkin.

In a way, it’s compliment: You’re a robot, not a slob.

The chicken chain crowed over our current calamity via a statement:

Our “It’s Finger Lickin’ Good” slogan has been around for 64 years, which is impressive for a brand in this day and age. We’re firm believers that there’s one simple reason it’s become so famous: because it’s true.

Our chicken is, quite simply, Finger Lickin’ Good. Whether it’s the perfectly cooked chicken on the bone, or the secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices, we’ll never know. But the idea of even one little bit going to waste is no joke.

Yet, something’s afowl:

Think we can all agree, this year has been like no other and, right now, our slogan doesn’t feel quite right.

So, for that reason, we’ll be pressing pause on using it in our advertising, for a little while.

It seems they’re a bit penned in:

“We find ourselves in a unique situation—having an iconic slogan that doesn’t quite fit in the current environment. While we are pausing the use of ‘It’s Finger Lickin’ Good,’ rest assured the food craved by so many people around the world isn’t changing one bit.” said Catherine Tan-Gillespie, global chief marketing officer at KFC.

They’re trying to be responsible:

In all seriousness though, whilst we’re taking a moment to have a little fun, rest assured we’re still going to be providing Finger Lickin’ Good chicken and a responsible experience for our amazing team members and guests around the world.

But don’t lose hope in these trying times:

And for all those fans, don’t worry – the slogan will be back. Just when the time is right.

We’re all being pushed around by COVID. Do we need to lose yet another bit of normalcy?

Is KFC caving? Personally, I think they’re henpecked, and axing an iconic phrase is really laying an egg.

Then again, I prefer Popeye’s.

But for those of you who’d love to hang out with Boss Hogg and enjoy a buffet of bird from a bucket, for the time being, you’ll have to keep from washing your wettest muscle over your mitts. In these germy times, nobody wants to shake hands with Kentucky Fried Lickin’.

So stay safe and stay sanitary.

And for goodness sake, it’s good advice now and it’s good advice always: Keep your tongue to yourself.

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

Man’s Penis Falls Off, Doctor Adds One to His Arm

Tail of the Sea: Man Complains of Stomach Pain, Doctors Find a Large Fish in His Rectum

50 Years After Disastrously Dynamiting a Sperm Whale, Oregon Opens Its ‘Exploding Whale Memorial Park’ (VIDEO)

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