Screwball: Portland Rioter Charged With Baseball-Batting a Federal Agent Faces Decades in the Dugout

AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez

 

This must be those peaceful protestors I keep hearing about.

On Tuesday, a Portland man was arrested for allegedly bashing a federal agent with a wooden baseball bat in July.

Imagine how much stunning permissiveness a government would have to display for someone to view Babe Ruthing a federal officer as a relatively consequence-free activity.

Oh, that’s right — you don’t have to imagine it.

You been watching it on TV for months.

According to a Department of Justice news release, on July 27th, 24-year-old Dakotah Ray Horton was charged with assaulting a U.S. Marshal.

The officer was reportedly kneeling to assist with an arrest when Dakotah went full Louisville Slugger on him.

Attorney General William Barr noted the attack happened near the Mark O. Hatfield federal courthouse.

The marshal sustained non-life-threatening injuries.

Following the violent crime, U.S. Marshals Service distributed a bulletin featuring photos of Dakotah along with a description.

Two weeks later, in the Rock Creek section of Washington County, they took him into custody.

From AG Bill:

“Assaulting a federal officer with a dangerous weapon is a serious violent crime. I applaud the tenacity of the deputy U.S. Marshals who, for multiple weeks, worked tirelessly to identify this defendant.”

What in the world could’ve been going through the twentysomething’s head?

What did he think he was accomplishing?

Many have said the group of ninja-dressed upper-middle-class guys and gals wreaking havoc in American streets are just LARPers — they’re engaged in Live Action Role Playing, American Revolution version.

That’s not hard to believe, as — for the most part — it’s seemed to occur without any negative blowback.

So long as that’s the case, it appears to me, we’ll be getting a lot more of the same gamers playing the same game.

Back to my opening line, to be clear, I support the peaceful protestors in the wake of George Floyd’s death, as well as peaceful protest in general. But it seems the participants of peace went home a very, very, very long time ago.

What’s left is a group playing Ninja Warrior.

Or…Major League Baseball.

And, for the good of the home team, it’s time for local governments to call them out — they’re way past three strikes.

As for the Portland batter, he may soon be choking up — Dakotah’s facing 20 years in federal prison.

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

‘Disgraceful’: Pro Soccer Player Blasts the Crowd for Boos Over Kneeling…As If the Players Are ‘the Ignorant Ones’

Hilarious: Customer Assaults Mild-Mannered Hotel Clerk Over Having His Temperature Taken, Gets Beaten Like a Drum

On Wings of the Mob: In an Effort to Quell Violence, Philadelphia’s Christopher Columbus Goes the Way of the Dodo Bird

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