Kennedy Sacks Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler: The Gutless Guy is Missing His Man Parts

(AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)
AP featured image
In this Tuesday, July 21, 2015 photo, Jim Jasper, owner of Stewart Jasper Orchards, displays a box of almonds that are ready for shipping at his processing plant in Newman, Calif. Like many Central Valley growers, Jasper depends on water from pumped from the Sacramento San Joaquin River Delta to irrigate his crops. Jasper says the efforts to save the endangered Delta smelt, which has caused a reduction of irrigation water, is partly to blame for him pulling out 400 acres of almond trees because he couldn’t get enough water. (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)


On Friday, the great Kennedy kneed Ted Wheeler where it hurts. Or, at least, where it usually would.

On Fox News program The Five, panelist Juan Williams defended Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler: According to Juan, the real problem’s been the presence of federal law enforcement officers amid protest.

It’s a bold take, considering the insanity that’s long-occurred in the city — courtesy of black-garbed people protesting ra–, I mean protesting po–, I mean…actually, I’m not sure anyone knows what they’re protesting. Including them. It seems to just be a general revolt against not revolting.

And it’s a sad thing — youth used to look like this (featuring a spring-chicken Kennedy with a lamentably loud cluck):

Here’s how it looks these days (Language Warning):


In the “City that Works,” the chaos has lasted for months.


Nevertheless, the mayor’s done fine.

So explained Juan:

“People here are saying, ‘Oh, Ted Wheeler was negligent’ or something, but I think he was very clear…in saying that what those people were doing was violent and it was potentially murderous. He used the word ‘murder,’ that it was wrong. So I think that’s a pretty clear line. I think people disagree about, ‘Well, he should have been tougher earlier’ and the like, but I don’t think there’s much disagreement from Left or Right when it comes to people who would set a fire and trap people in a building.”

Mr. Williams thinks it’s all being shamefully leveraged by the President:

“[T]rump wants to undermine the power of the peaceful protest in this country. And the way to do it is to point at people who are misbehaving and engaged in illegal activity. So I think he’s right on both counts, and I don’t think there’s a Left-Right divide over condemnation of violent people.”

Guest moderator Trey Gowdy pointed out that the mayor had stayed silent amid violence for a loooong time:

“[W]aiting until attempted murder is on the table is a long time to wait. You’ve got to jump over a lot of other crimes — arson and assault — to get to attempted murder. Where was the criticism 30 days ago, 45 days ago? I mean, everybody is against murder, for the most part. How about the other stuff leading up to it?”


Juan countered:

“[T]ed Wheeler’s pretty popular. His citizens saw him as containing this rather than pouring accelerant on it, which is what we saw when you had federal agents from Customs out of place, showing up for no reason and exacerbating a difficult situation for local officials. Absolutely no, no reason.”

That “popular” thing drew laughter from Kennedy (preferable to what came out in the Spring Break video)

The glasses-wearing, wit-wielding contributor crushed Ted.

Apparently, the guy doesn’t have any almonds. Or cashews. Or pecans:

“[W]hatever movement and whatever momentum was created in the…wake of the murder of George Floyd, that has completely dissipated in Portland. And that’s why I call Ted Wheeler ‘The Nutless Wonder.’ I am from Portland — it’s a beautiful city. It’s disgusting what’s happening, because Ted Wheeler’s walking around going, ‘Hey, this is really bad, you guys. Someone should do something about it. It’s like, ‘Ted, you’re the someone. You’re the guy who’s supposed to be leading your city. You’re the guy who’s supposed to be ensuring that there is safety so people can protest.”

Could it get worse than Ted? RedState’s Nick Arama thinks it can — read about it here.

Meanwhile, it seems to me the mayor’s handling of the anarchy has been absolutely nuts.


Or, perhaps, wonderously not.



See more pieces from me:

Take a Peek Into Portland’s Drive-Thru Strip Joint, and Gawk Over Its Name for Disrobed Deliveries

ACLU Files Suit Against Portland Police to Stop the Livestreaming of Riots

Little Seizures: People Freak Out Over Domino’s ‘Karen’ Promotion, So It Caves to the Woke and Eats Humble Pie

Black Hollywood Actress Says She’s Afraid to Have Children Who May be ‘Hunted’ and ‘Slaughtered’

Find all my RedState work here.

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