The Associated Press has a message for all of you cheaters: Don’t be a crappy guy and call your lady-on-the side a “mistress.”
As it turns out, those of you betraying your wives and children might possibly be doing something wrong — if you refer to your extra inamorata with the wrong mouth sounds.
Because this is where we are — things which are spelled are more important than any other things. At least, that’s how it seems.
To be clear, the following tweet concerns the official AP Stylebook for writing. But what’s the underlying message?
On May 8th, the AP laid down the law:
“We now say not to use the archaic and sexist term ‘mistress’ for a woman in a long-term sexual relationship with, and financially supported by, a man who is married to someone else. Instead, use an alternative like ‘companion’ or ‘lover’ on first reference. Provide details later.”
We now say not to use the archaic and sexist term "mistress" for a woman in a long-term sexual relationship with, and financially supported by, a man who is married to someone else.
Instead, use an alternative like companion or lover on first reference. Provide details later.— APStylebook (@APStylebook) May 8, 2020
To reference Star Wars program The Mandalorian, “[The AP] has spoken.”
Very late to the party, I know.
The Mandalorian has two personalities: a grand overarching main arc (eps 1,2,3,7,8) – 9/10 and "adventure of the week" episodes (4,5,6) – 7.5/10.I have spoken. pic.twitter.com/3buFkBIaD3
— Bicara Box Office (@bicaraboxoffice) May 11, 2020
In case you weren’t aware, as noted by The Daily Wire, the use of the word’s been a hot topic for a while. Last year, HuffPost ran the piece “Mistress Is A Sexist Word. Stop Using It. The End.”
Here’s a snippet from that lesson on suitable syllables:
It’s a loaded term, meant to suggest that a woman is subordinate to the man with whom she’s having a relationship. The word also implies that her behavior is immoral.
“It is clearly a red-flag word,” said Soraya Chemaly, the director of the Women’s Media Center. “It implies this woman is operating outside the parameters of what is socially acceptable. That she might be morally questionable because she’s breaking the rules.”
Since there’s no male equivalent for mistress, the implication is it’s OK for the guy to go outside his marriage ― it’s normal, doesn’t even require a new term.
Mistress is one of a parcel of terms ― slut, spinster ― that serve to dehumanize, objectify and subjugate, notes Chemaly, who recently published “Rage Becomes Her,” an exploration of women’s anger throughout history.
So there ya go.
Nonetheless — as Twitter revealed — not everyone’s on board:
I don’t care much about hurting the feelings of someone who continuously sleeps with a married man.
— Tulip Elf 🌷 (@Strangeland_Elf) May 9, 2020
— PhrankWhyte (@PhrankWyte) May 8, 2020
Mistress is used quite properly.
It’s intended to be tied to gender. That’s the whole point of the word, it describes something in detail, so it can be differentiated from other phenomena.
This is the foundation of words and language.
— Chad W (@ChaddyDubbs) May 8, 2020
I don’t care much about hurting the feelings of someone who continuously sleeps with a married man.
— Tulip Elf 🌷 (@Strangeland_Elf) May 9, 2020
Sarah tried to woke up the unenlightened — a cheating dude shouldn’t do something as sexist as curl his tongue in the wrong ways…when he’s talking:
It isn't about hurt feelings, it's about sexism
— 🌈 Sarah 🌈 (@genderberries) May 9, 2020
A lot of commenters offered alternatives:
How about side piece, kept woman, concubine, shack job, goomah, homewrecker or Lisa Page for short?
— Tony Bruno (@TonyBrunoShow) May 8, 2020
Hard pass.
Homewrecker.
Gold digger.
Don't tell me what to say. Freedom of expression says I don't have to.
— It's JustNot TrueTho (@PmJustnot) May 8, 2020
“Homewrecker” certainly got props:
Nah… I’ll stick with mistress and homewrecker.
— Greg (@Money_Moose) May 9, 2020
Home wrecker will do! Thanks.
— Stacy Washington (@StacyOnTheRight) May 9, 2020
Home wrecker is the preferred nomenclature pic.twitter.com/TriwbbgDPp
— Andrew Gillum’s Enormous Belly Button (@JeffCha83129254) May 8, 2020
Home wrecker?
— FunkyHaircutAtaru (@AtaruHansome) May 8, 2020
I prefer the term homewrecker. But that’s just me. 🤷🏼♀️
— Julie Bergeron (@julilynn31) May 10, 2020
How about "home wrecker"?
— Tommy Pirolski (@TomPiroli) May 8, 2020
And I’d say the runner-up was clear:
WHOOUR Is what WE say
— Girl♥️Bot (@AMErikaNGIRLLL) May 9, 2020
I’ll stick with ‘ho fo sho’
— Antoninus (@LoneStarTexian) May 8, 2020
— Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) May 8, 2020
I prefer this.. pic.twitter.com/dFMN19Uwtq
— Michael • ⚜ • (@XoSolutions2020) May 8, 2020
Thank you. It's….ho made.
— Michael • ⚜ • (@XoSolutions2020) May 9, 2020
Going back to Star Wars, one person noted the two share a symbiotic relationship:
Cant spell homewrecker without Ho!
— Footy Fun (@itsadoodleparty) May 9, 2020
So remember: The next time you sneak out the window in the middle of the night to meet up with your 2nd-string suitor, please stand up for what’s right — and don’t use the wrong words. And for those of you writing about such things, get your head out of 2018.
The planet has problems, and we’ve got work to do. So let’s all join in and change the world, by changing the noises and letters we make.
That will be all. Dismissed.
-ALEX
See 3 more pieces from me:
Made in Germany: Hamburg Cafe Takes a Hilarious Approach to Social Distancing
Global Culture-Influencing Music Star Justin Bieber: Jesus ‘Found Me in My Dirt and Pulled Me Out’
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