Move Over, Thor: Marvel Launches Superwoke Heroes 'Snowflake' and 'Safespace'

This image released by Marvel Studios shows Chris Hemsworth, left, and the Hulk in a scene from, "Thor: Ragnarok." (Marvel Studios via AP)

This image released by Marvel Studios shows Chris Hemsworth, left, and the Hulk in a scene from, “Thor: Ragnarok.” (Marvel Studios via AP)

 

 

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Big news for all you superhero fans: Marvel Comics has a new batch of good guys, and they’re as woke as a box of smelling salts.

As reported by The Daily Wire, the comic book company’s releasing its “New Warriors” on April 15th. And the updated characters for a modern age have been crafted by none other than The Late Show with Stephen Colbert writer Daniel Kibblesmith.

Here’s a look at a few of the fighters for our future:

The Psychic Twins are comprised of Safespace and Snowflake.

Safespace can create pink forcefields, but he can’t enter them himself — they only work at protecting others.

As for Snowflake, he’s she’s they’s… Actually, I’ll just let Marvel explain it:

Snowflake is non-binary and goes by they/them, and has the power to generate individual crystalized snowflake-shaped shurikens.

Courtesy of Wikipedia:

A shuriken (Japanese: 手裏剣; literally: “hidden hand blade”) is a Japanese concealed weapon that was used as a hidden dagger or metsubushi to distract or misdirect.

More from the Marv:

The connotations of the word “snowflake” in our culture right now are something fragile, and this is a character who is turning it into something sharp.

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Well, that’s also the denotation of the word.

Moving on, if you were wondering whether the twins are psychically connected:

“All twins are psychic, but we’re psychic-er.”

Additionally:

They’re hyper aware of modern culture and optics, and they see their Super Heroics as “a post-ironic meditation on using violence to combat bullying.”

So how does pink-fielding Safespace look?

Like this:

Safespace is a big, burly, sort of stereotypical jock.

And here’s how the brothers compare:

Snowflake is the person who has the more offensive power, and Safespace is the person who has the more defensive power. The idea is that they would mirror each other and complement each other.

Also among the group is Trailblazer, who’s “a regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing. Her ‘magic backpack’ is actually a pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, from which she can pull out useful or random objects—it’s not always under her control.”

And where’d her power come from?

She claims to get her power from god, but “not the god you’re thinking of.”

Also in the New Warriors: vampire B-Negative.

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Rounding out the bunch: Screentime, “a meme-obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet,” who “can instantly Google any fact.”

“Does this make him effectively a genius?” the New Warriors official introduction page asks. “He sure acts like it does.”

Watch the roll-out video above.

It’s a daring cast; whatcha think?

On the YouTube page so far, 3.7K have given the group the Thumbs Up.

Thumbs Down? 168K.

Then again, critics are always more vocal.

Will you be braving the apocalypse to snag your copy from the newstand?

Let us all know.

-ALEX

 

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