If You Were Afraid Politics Had Become Less Absurd, Let Nancy Pelosi Alleviate Your Fears

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., arrives at the Capitol in Washington, Thursday, Sept. 26, 2019, just as Acting Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire is set to speak publicly for the first time about a secret whistleblower complaint involving President Donald Trump. Pelosi committed Tuesday to launching a formal impeachment inquiry against Trump. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

In case you’ve been recently stressed by the notion that politics has become a tiny bit less absurd, allow me to relieve your anxiety.

Earlier this week, Nancy Pelosi appeared with Christiane Amanpour, and the CNN anchor served up a reasonable batch of words:

“What about…the fact that the President seems liberated — and this is about Democratic politics, so I’m not asking you to criticize here, but he was acquitted, his poll ratings are high…”

Okay…good…good…

But then Nancy interrupted:

“He was not…there was no aquitment…”

Feel that sweet release?

She went on:

“You can’t have an acquittal unless you have a trial, and you can’t have a trial unless you have witnesses and documents. So he can say he’s acquitted, and the headlines can say ‘acquitted,’ but he’s impeached forever, branded with that, and not vindicated.”

Sometimes I wonder: Why do politicians even speak? Or, at least, why do certain ones make sounds? So many, it seems to me, long ago nullified anything that might pass their teeth, in the form of syllables with no hope of being taken seriously.

Nancy said it’s all about cowardice:

“And even the senators were saying, ‘Yes, it wasn’t right,’ but they didn’t have the courage to act upon that.”

This isn’t, of course, her first time to sell such a box. Feast your eyes, especially if they’re hungry for goofiness:

Speaker Pelosi:

If Trump is acquitted, “he will not be acquitted. You cannot be acquitted if you don’t have a trial and you don’t have a trial if you don’t have witnesses and documentation…”
pic.twitter.com/ryHrqAQLjb

— Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) January 30, 2020

And she’s not alone — as I covered last week in my article “Existence Doesn’t Exist…” seven House managers spoke the same in an interview with Anderson Cooper (here).

At the time, I offered the following analysis:

So let’s break it down: The Democrats, with very weak ammunition, tried to shoot to smithereens the Republican president’s White House residency by putting that process A) wholly in the hands of themselves, via the House, and then — just as critical to their success — B) wholly in the hands of Republicans, via the Senate.

#NotAWellThoughtOutPlanEvenALittleBit

Somehow, virtually everybody voting along party lines in the House? Totally valid. Everyone doing the same in the Senate? Nope.

And we’re back to the dumbest that things can be.

But find solace in that familiar space. Given that this is an election year — and considering that Trump appears poised for another 4 — we’re gonna be there for a long, long time.

But hey — at least this is merely a horrific travesty of justice by a man who has no sense of right and wrong. Thank goodness it’s not as bad as that most evil of all past tribulations — the Republican tax bill, otherwise known as Armageddon: