Image courtesy of geralt from Pixabay
Wouldn’t it be crappy if you died and went to hell, then you found out it was all because you’d watched Sunday’s Super Bowl 54?
And I have to think it’d be an even bigger gut punch if you were a 49ers fan.
No word on which team Hebron, Ohio Pastor Dave Baubenmire was pulling for, but the host of Pass the Salt Ministries web show Coach Dave LIVE announced Monday his intention to sue over the pro football extravaganza:
“I’m looking for a lawyer out there, or somebody who’d join me in a class-action lawsuit against Pepsi, the NFL, my local cable company…for pandering pornography…contributing to the delinquency of a minor. What we saw yesterday was a strip club performance at half-time at the Super Bowl.”
Certainly not everyone was in favor of the pelvic panoply, wherein — if genitals were swords — many a cameraman would’ve been impaled.
Across the web, there were outcries such as this anonymous post:
“Some day, I’m going to sing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ at a Super Bowl. One day I will,” said Demi Levato.
And she did it. That’s empowerment.
“Some day, I’m going to wear a thong, grab my privates, and grind against a stripper pole. One day I will,” said no little girl.
When did class become obsolete? My fellow ladies, please think about your behavior before you try to preach female “empowerment.”
Dave believes it was all working to serve up some weeping and gnashing of teeth:
“I think we ought to go sit down in a courtroom and present this as evidence of how whoever is keeping me from getting into the Kingdom of Heaven.”
As you may know, the controversial show featured Shakira and Jennifer Lopez delivering ditties such as “Hips Don’t Lie” and “On the Floor.”
And to Dave, the “Super Bowl porn show” was far too sexual for the kiddos (and grown-ups) out there in TV land.
In the minister’s opinion, the program should’ve offered viewers a warning of “Graphic Content.”
But — as told to The Daily Caller — since they didn’t…
“They penetrated the sanctity of my home.”
“I turned on the TV to watch football, not…a pole dance. … Young boys are being exposed to this. I’m not here to tell the NFL what they can put on. I’m not here to tell anyone what they can watch. But they don’t have the right in the middle of a game to broadcast soft porn.”
Franklin Graham’s on the same page — speaking with The Charlotte Observer, he deduced the performance taught “young girls that sexual exploitation of women is okay.”
Dave may not have sued over crotches before, but this isn’t his first penal rodeo.
As per TDC:
In 1999, Daubenmire was involved in a lawsuit filed by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) against the London High School Coaching staff, where Daubenmire was on staff at the time. The lawsuit was filed after a parent complained about Daubenmire leading prayers with the high school football team. The ACLU accused the school of religious indoctrination and violating the students’ First Amendment rights, according to the ACLU’s website.
Oh — and as it turns out, you can ixnay the ellhay — Dave’s talk of eternal torment was just for effect:
“I’m not worried about whether I’m going to go to hell for watching J-Lo.”
But someone’s gotta stand up, and he’s more than happy to volunteer:
“You can do whatever you want — you can put (Netflix’s) gay Jesus up there. Christians are sick of it. They are looking for someone to push back.”
Is Dave right? What did you think about the night’s entertainment?
Let us all know in the Comments section.
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