If you’re a lover of the Mexico City subway, I don’t wanna take the p*ss out of your affection…

But this story’s gotta be told.

It’s golden.

The densely-populated state’s Metro line has a problem.

True — the system’s escalators are old and roughly used.

But is age the reason their drive wheels and mechanisms keep corroding?

As a result, the moving staircases frequently break down, and passengers don’t like it.

Yet, officials have an excuse that..relieves…them of responsibility.

Assistant Manager Fermin Ramirez told The Associated Press it’s the dingalings using the subway that’ve caused stations’ dive into the toilet.

The culprit: copious amounts of pee.

From the AP:

In a list published Tuesday, the Metro system listed “corrosion due to urine” as one of the top five causes of escalator breakdowns.

Here’s Fermin:

“When we open up escalators for maintenance, there is always urine.”

But whose fault is it really?

Most stations have no public bathroom facilities, a fact Twitter users were quick to point out, noting there are not even any pay toilets.

Twitter certainly did respond:

Needs more public rest rooms… DUH! pic.twitter.com/f5FiJUm3nZ

— Mr_Scorpio (@Mr_Scorpio) January 16, 2020

https://twitter.com/oegerle/status/1217533830036361222

That's why I pee in elevators

— Not PC (portion control) (@K97690265) January 15, 2020

Urine trouble now

— WJG (@WJGCapeCod) January 15, 2020

Now we know why that kid kept going on the escalator pic.twitter.com/Drtu5ZtLnn

— Isaac pollack (@Penguinbandito) January 15, 2020

Make it so they get a mild shock. They'll stop.

— LauriefromNewHampshire (@lauriefromnh) January 16, 2020

There was even this:

My son was attacked by horse poop on a subway

— Deep Thought 🤔💭 (@SentientNova) January 16, 2020

Of course, government should be given a fair shake; but at the end of the day, it’s the state’s responsibility to keep things flowing.

Why aren’t there bathrooms?

Putting toilets aside, the state’s on the ball: Over the next two years, MC plans to replace about 55 escalators.

As of now, 22 of the 467 are out on any given day.

And we’re talking tons of pee:

With over 1.6 billion rides per year, the Mexico City subway is considered the eighth largest in the world by some measures, and one of the cheapest: A 25-cent ticket will get you a single ride to any destination on the 140-mile (226-kilometer) system.

If you ask me, the bigger story’s the risk to male passengers.

If people are just hanging out on the escalator…I seem to recall many tales of riders getting their sleeves stuck in — or ripped off by — the moving handrail.

The vandals probably aren’t thirsty; their bladders are full.

Are they hungry? If they don’t watch it, they could find themselves holding an inchilada.

-ALEX

See 3 more pieces from me:

13-Time Felon Accidentally Shoots Himself in the Testicles While Carrying Drugs in His Anus – As You Do

Could Russia Have Really Hacked the Election? It’s so Advanced, Their Cows Wear Virtual Reality Goggles

Louisiana Woman Accused of Theft Tells Cops She Has No Idea How the Meth & Money Got There – in Her Vagina

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