Dean Cain Sounds Off On Hallmark Movies' Alleged Fascistic Propaganda: ‘I Thought It Was A Terrible Adam Schiff Parody’

[Screenshot from TheDC Shorts, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmJPVnqLhjs&feature=emb_logo]

On Friday, Lois & Clark star (and excellently creepy-character actor in The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story) Dean Cain guested on Fox & Friends to talk about the “fascist propaganda” of Hallmark movies.

That’s right: In case you missed it, that comfy feel-good flick starring the ever-adorable Candace Cameron is actually the outstretched talon of evil.

Just ask Salon.com:

The Hallmark Channel has been having a rough go of it in the past few weeks. The cable TV behemoth, which has been minting money with its patented holiday season schmaltz, drew widespread criticism earlier this month when it pulled ads for the wedding company Zola that featured a lesbian couple kissing at their wedding. The company’s initial excuse was that they do not allow ads that feature “overt public displays of affection,” claiming the policy is “regardless of the participants.”

This was, obviously, nonsense, as couples kissing at weddings is not only not [unusual and startling], but generally seen as mandatory (and features in the channel’s numerous rom-coms).

It also drew widespread support. But “displays of affection” does sound lame. Right on…

Here’s more:

Unsurprisingly, critics quickly found plenty of examples of straight snogging on the channel that shows that sexual orientation was the sole reason for the ad pull. (That, and Hallmark was clearly responding to a right-wing pressure campaign claiming that lesbian kissing “ruined” the channel’s “family friendly” offerings.) Hallmark then flip-flopped, apologizing for pulling the ads and claiming they have been “a progressive pioneer on television for decades” and “committed to diversity and inclusion.”

Which is, of course, laughable to anyone who has even glancing knowledge of the channel’s offerings. Running down this year’s schedule of Christmas movie offerings is like a trip into an uncanny valley of shiny-teethed, blow-dried heteronormative whiteness, with only a few token movies with characters of color. It’s like watching The Stepford Wives, but scarier, since the evil plot to replace normal people with robots is never actually revealed.

Scarier!

None of this should be a surprise, because Hallmark movies, as cloying and saccharine as they are, constitute the platonic ideal of fascist propaganda.

You heard ’em.

And now, we land on — you guessed it — the similarity between the two H’s: Hallmark and Hitler.

That is probably a startling statement to some. When most of us think about fascistically propagandistic movies, we think of the grotesque grandeur of Leni Riefenstahl’s films celebrating the Third Reich — grand, but cold sweeping shots of soldiers goose-stepping and flags waving, all meant to inspire awe and terror. But the reality is, even in Nazi Germany, the majority of movies approved by the Nazi minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, were escapist and feather-light, with a Hallmark movie-style emphasis on the importance of “normality.”

So there ya go.

Dean took to the TV to respond:

“Well, it’s really terrifying to wake up the day after Christmas to find out that Santa is a Nazi. Shocker. It’s the most ridiculous thing. At first, I thought it was so ridiculous, I thought it was a terrible Adam Schiff parody. But then I went and read it, and it’s insane.”

Cain asserted Hallmark movies are about people coming together — family, love…Christmas.

Or maybe also world domination, psycho murder, and the stripping of rights?

Maybe they’re just super good at keeping the obvious locked away from conscious view, and Salon’s discovered the key.

But Dean says No:

“It’s the farthest thing from fascism that exists out there. To me it’s completely shocking.”

He also offered some advice: If you think it’s evil, don’t watch it:

“If you don’t like the Hallmark Channel — which had huge ratings over Christmastime, like 70 million viewers — if you don’t like it, don’t watch it. But it’s certainly not fascist propaganda. That’s insane. It’s literally — you want to know who the fascist is, look who wrote the article.”

He’s right about the ratings.

The Third Reich was the Third Rated:

Hallmark Channel beats CNN in pre-Christmas ratings https://t.co/EAZnQwQiC9 pic.twitter.com/uqiJs5Do52

— Matthew Keys (@MatthewKeysLive) December 27, 2019

Host Katie Pavlich quoted that part above about The Stepford Wives and making heterosexuality seem normal.

Superman reacted:

“Well, yeah, that is just a whole bit of word salad there. Madness and craziness. Literally, it’s ‘Everybody who doesn’t agree with me is a Nazi and a fascist and a racist.'”

If I may say so, it perhaps might sort of have a slight ring of that.

“I mean, that’s it, and the Hallmark Channel is the farthest thing from that. You know, I’ve done 10 movies — yeah. I haven’t done any the last couple years, so there’s no reason for me to be out here defending them other than the fact that it’s just completely wrong to say that it’s fascist propaganda. It’s insane.”

Dean sees it as an attack on America:

“It’s a bald-faced attack on Christmas. It’s an attack on American values as a cultural institution.”

Personally, I’ve always thought of Hallmark movies as some of the most innocuous things around. Further bolstering that impression are the people I know who watch them.

They’re really not the Adolf type.

Or are they?