Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J., walks on the stage before a Democratic presidential primary debate, Wednesday, Nov. 20, 2019, in Atlanta. (AP Photo/John Bazemore)
On Sunday, Sen. Cory Booker aired a campaign ad to illustrate the triumph of love over hate, aka the handing over of the most powerful position in the world to him.
In it, he proclaims:
“I’m here because of love.”
“A heroic love that pushed people to march…”
He accompanies those words with images of black people protesting in the ’60s.
“…knowing they could be beaten; and board buses, knowing they could be bombed.”
“From Seneca Falls to Selma to Stonewall, the truth of America is that we win when we come together and show the best of who we are. Against the worst that we face. That’s how we’ve beaten demagogues and bigots before. That’s how we’ll beat Donald Trump.”
Here’s even more good news:
“[T]hat’s how I’ll lead as your president.”
This is what happens, it seems to me, when people use words they heard were good, without considering in any remote way what they actually mean.
In the 60’s, black Americans marched to demand equality. They weren’t lovers on a stroll; they were bravely fighting for their constitutional rights.
As for being beaten and bombed:
Dude…you’re a millionaire living in a 3,000-square-foot house. You’re seeking greater power, not staring down a stick of dynamite for the sake of love.
Moving on, regarding America “coming together” to “show the best of who we are,” here’s an open letter of sorts:
You’re a politician; therefore, you’re the walking embodiment of division. You don’t bring people together, as is evidenced by your next line: “…against the worst we face.” That “worst” is otherwise known as half the country.
So allow me to fix your statement:
“I want half of y’all watching this to fight the other half. And I want one half to be fans of mine. And then I want that half to win, so I can be President of the United States.”
That’s what every presidential election is.
I suggest a new book of Mad Libs inspired by the commercial.
You just list things that are pleasant or virtuous, and they all get plugged into a promotion.
How about: I love cheeseburgers, affection, and a nice breeze. And an example of a historic good is Abraham Lincoln signing the Emancipation Proclamation.
Here’s my ad:
“I’m here because of cheeseburgers. [Cue Lincoln picking up a pen]. Abraham freed the slaves, because of a Whopper. He risked assassination, and we all love hugs. They’re how we defeat everybody, as we also are — at the same time — everybody. We’re everybody beating nobody, because there’s no one left to be anybody. [Cut to my chosen happy moments: the Yankees winning the pennant, Godzilla beating Mothra, and those miners in Chile being rescued]. And in closing: There will be a cool breeze if you make this happen — Alex Parker for president.”
Back to love, how’s this:
“Donald Trump is a guy who — you understand, he hurts you. My testosterone sometimes makes me want to feel like punching him, which would be bad for this elderly, out-of-shape man that he is if I did that. This physically weak specimen.”
–Cory “Love” Booker
And of course, those “demagogues and bigots” the marchers were fighting — George Wallace, Bull Connor, and Washington politicians — were Democrats.
And on we march, to Goofyville. Gotta love it.
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