Smartest Criminals: Man Gives Police a Malarkey Moniker to Avoid Arrest, Forgets He Tattooed His Name on His Neck

[Photo courtesy of Mattoon Police Department]
[Photo courtesy of Mattoon Police Department]

 

Matthew Bushman, 36, was questioned in relation to a forgery case by Illinois’s Mattoon Police Department.

What’s the best way to avoid trouble in such a situation? Tell ’em you’re not you.

So decided Matthew.

Mr. Bushman was asked to identify himself, so he provided both a phony moniker and made-up birthdate.

Avoidance accomplished.

-If not for an immediate obstacle. Mr. Bushman had apparently forgotten an endeavor he’d once made in the realm of skin ‘n’ ink: In addition to the tear (or backward apostrophe?) he’d had permanently etched beneath his eye, he’d evidently once thought it a great idea to get a giant tattoo on his neck — one that spelled out “Matty B.”

The display tended to work against his svengali-like mislead.

Therefore, as noted by authorities Tuesday on Facebook, Matty B. was arrested on October 11th — turned out, there was a warrant for him in Peoria.

And now he’s got a nice charge for obstructing justice.

Could be it’s for his own good: Perhaps his detention will keep him from roaming among us and robbing a bank without a scarf.

-ALEX

 

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