A Community Worries as its Esteemed Vagina Museum Applies for a Liquor License

You know what that vagina museum needs? An alcohol license.

“Which vagina museum,” you ask?

That would be the Vagina Museum set to open November 16th at London’s Camden Market, specifically.

The grand showcase of unshowables is on a mission to spread the word — per its website — about “gynaecological anatomy and health.”

And to get you sloshed, it might appear — at the “world’s first bricks and mortar museum dedicated to vaginas.”

But some citizens are perturbed over its petition for a liquor license. Patricia Thomas, of the Hartland Residents Association, wrote to the Camden Council about it:

“We have no doubt that the museum will try to ensure that no inappropriate parties will be allowed, but stag parties are not known for their respectfulness and hen parties can also be raucous and difficult to control.”

Hen parties!

“If parties become rowdy, they will be removed by security and then end up on our streets, creating public nuisance.”

And what if those stags and hens collide? Injury could ensue.

As reported by the Telegraph, Patricia’s “particularly alarmed.” So is Kathryn Gemmell, chair of the Tenants Residents Associations, Camden Town. She expressed worry that the museum is “actively seeking” hen and stag nights.

Nevertheless, on Thursday, the erected salute to unmentionables was granted its license.

Director Florence Schechter announced she was “honored” by the local authorities’ decision. She also explained that, at the hearing, she’d “heard and engaged with residents’ concerns.”

Originally, the museum had applied to sell alcohol Sunday through Thursday from 10 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. and Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m. to midnight.

That was so, ostensibly, a bloke might say to his buddy, “Hey, it’s 11:00 at night. Let’s go over to the Vagina Museum and grab a beer.”

However, prior to the meeting, the VM amended its application to the simpler 6:00-10:30 p.m., seven days a week.

Also granted: the right to show films between 10 a.m. and 10:30 p.m. Monday thru Saturday, and 11 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Sunday.

One condition was imposed by the licensing panel: No more than 100 people may be inside the Vagina Museum at any one time.

So go the rules and regulations of an esteemed community ornament.

Line up on November 16th for the gallery’s opening exhibit, “Muff Busters: Vagina Myths And How To Fight Them.” And be sure to stop off at the bar.

Move over, Camden movie theaters; there’s a new first-date go-to in town.

And — if you dare — check out that swag. Are those chicken feet? From the hens?

-ALEX

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