Ever had gum in your hair? It’s hard to get out.
The same is true of crystal meth.
At least, I assume.
That would explain why 38-year-old Jessica Kropp kept hers in, despite the fact that she’d just been pulled over by the cops.
According to the arrest affidavit, Jessica’s tag had expired. Hence the traffic stop.
She had ample time to remove her illegal accessory — rather than pulling over when the blue lights filled her rearview, she went ahead and cruised through a neighborhood first.
Perhaps she wanted make sure she was presentable.
A few checks in the mirror. “Anything in my teeth?”
She was certainly gussied — her bleached blonde ‘do was pulled up and to the side, sorority-girl style, via a spunky pink scrunchy.
But the bit of detail that really niced her up was the adorable bow — white, to match her tie-dyed shirt, and middled by a sassy pink tie to go with the binding of her pony.
Patrol Officer Kenneth Looney asked for her drivers license. She laid it out for him: Her DL was suspended, she didn’t have insurance, the car was borrowed, and she had no idea where the registration was.
The officer ran a quick check which revealed five outstanding warrants, four failure to appears, and one failure to pay fines warrant.
More importantly, Kenneth did something many a man has failed to do when a woman most deserved it: He noticed what she’d done with her hair.
The policeman explained to Fox:
“As I was detaining [her], I observed what appeared to be a bow in her hair.”
Yes, man! Women want you to notice the ways they spruce up.
He apparently has an eye for detail:
“The bow appeared to be a small, zip-locked bag containing a white crystal-like substance of suspected methamphetamine.”
From Fox LA:
Looney described the bag as having a small rubber band around the middle, “giving it a bow shape,” and added that it was attached to a bobby pin. He said it was placed on the right side of Kropp’s head, attached to her hair.
Like I said.
Kenneth: Are you serious?
Kenneth: You have a bow in your hair made from a bag of meth.
Jessica played coy. A bit of, “What — this old thing?”
“[Expletive], I didn’t know that was there, someone else put that there and I didn’t know what it was.’”
Ladies, never let a stranger do your hair. Only trust your regular stylist.
— Obsidian (@Kaibutsu) October 8, 2019
Perhaps not merely coincidentally, a search of the car turned up more bags of white hair product.
Jessica was charged with:
- possession of meth with the intent to deliver
- possession of drug paraphernalia
- driving on a suspended license
- no liability insurance
She was taken to the Marion County jail, where she’s being held to the tune of $22,530.
All because of a doggone Breaking Bad barrette.
Don’t get too down and out, Jessica — you’re not alone.
If only she’d been in Louisiana, rather than Arkansas. She could’ve bonded with 23-year-old Ashely Beth Rolland, who got inserted into a Bayou State clink in August because cops also discovered a bag of crystal she had no idea was there — in her vagina.
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