Future President Bill DeBlasio Promises to Confiscate All Your Semi-Auto Rifles. Good News: His Bodyguards'll Keep Theirs

Bill deBlasio is better than you.

Or at least, that’s the way it seems.

It’s a fairly natural conclusion, given he believes he should be the one to take wealth from the wrong people and give it to the right ones.

The free market, hard work, acumen, and luck are out. Bill’s in. He’ll decide who’s successful. He could’ve appointed you, but he’s clearly surmised he oughta lord over the country’s — or at least New York’s — financial distribution (read all about it here).

Here’s another example of his Chosen One status: On Thursday, the mayor of the Big Apple announced that, if he becomes President of the U.S., he’ll enact a federal confiscation of semi-automatic rifles.

As posed by Fox News host Tucker Carlson, courtesy of The Daily Wire:

“You have said that you’re for mandatory buybacks of semi-automatic rifles. There are tens of millions of these rifles in circulation now, and presumably some large number of people won’t feel like selling them to the government. What do you do with those people?”

Bill thinks most of you are “smart” — so you geniuses’ll give him those guns:

“We’ve got to end the availability of assault weapons in this country, so I think if there was a ban on assault weapons and there was a buyback program, the vast majority of people, I think, would do the smart thing and they would sell them back. I don’t have a specific answer for you, but I think it’s a good question.”

It should be noted that this whole idea of “assault weapons” is of the Oscar Mayer variety. Semi-automatic and/or spooky-looking rifles are long hollow tubes out of which one bullet comes with each pull of the trigger. They’re prominently used for hunting and — statistically, compared to much smaller and less ominous-looking handguns — they’re rarely employed in violent crime.

Tucker thought Bill’s idea was crazy and a great way to ignite a whooole lot of violence.

Mayor Goofy’s response:

“I’m being honest with you, I think anyone in public life should say, you know, when we think we have an answer or whether it’s something we still have to work out. What I know is this: We cannot have assault weapons in our society – we’ve seen the devastating impact, they need to be banned. And that means by definition you don’t leave millions and millions of them out there. The buyback’s the obvious approach. How we deal with someone who doesn’t want to participate in the buyback, that’s something we’ll have to resolve going forward.”

Someone he won’t have to deal with: himself.

“His” rifles’ll stay — his protective detail’s provided by officers.

He’ll have that defense; you won’t.

Therein lies the “better than you.”