Last week, @feministabulous tweeter Liz Plank praised abortion for allowing millions of men to succeed:
“Behind millions of successful men is an abortion they don’t regret getting with their partner. I urge men to go beyond solidarity and talk about how they’ve personally benefited from abortion rights too. Not because it’s the right thing (for) you to do, (but) because it’s true!”
Behind millions of successful men is an abortion they don’t regret getting with their partner. I urge men to go beyond solidarity and talk about how they’ve personally benefited from abortion rights too. Not because it’s the right thing you to do, because it’s true!
— Liz Plank (@feministabulous) May 16, 2019
I thought men have no business having an opinion about abortion (here)?
Liz, incidentally, is a host for Vox.
Nashville/Los Angeles-based movie producer Adam Trahan felt compelled to respond, and his tweet was profound:
“I am living proof that the exact opposite is true. Not a day goes by where I do not feel abject shame and guilt for being party to something of which I was given zero choice. And you are living proof that there is zero difference between fame and infamy.”
I am living proof that the exact opposite is true. Not a day goes by where I do not feel abject shame and guilt for being party to something of which I was given zero choice.
And you are living proof that there is zero difference between fame and infamy. https://t.co/x3gRRa6xA8
— Adam Trahan (@AdamTrahan) May 16, 2019
Adam spoke to The Daily Caller about his post, explaining that he’d only recently admitted to his half-decade-ago “unwilling” participation in an abortion. And that experience changed him:
“That single instance is what made me staunchly pro-life. In California, if I were to profess any form of acceptance toward the pro-life movement, I wouldn’t have just been shunned, I’d have been actively destroyed.”
Adam accompanied his then-girlfriend to the clinic, convinced that his job was to shut up and provide support.
“That was what had been drilled into my head since adolescence due to my San Francisco, Calif., upbringing. ‘You’re the man, you have no say, you DID this to her.'”
But it’s haunted him ever since:
“That single moment that I remember so vividly, and her blase attitude afterward changed me forever. Not a single day goes by that I don’t think about that and feel a tremendous, stagnating guilt, and I just felt the need to share to both get it off my chest, and to maybe see if I wasn’t alone. It’s truly the most lonely feeling in the world, when you feel like you can’t tell anyone, because, again, I’m the male. Who cares what I think? It’s not ‘my body.”
Following his tweet, he was shocked by “the visceral hatred and assumptions about me, my character, and my relationship in response to what was a personal story, and not even a declaration or condemnation of anything…”
Good morning to you, too, tolerant, caring and empathetic left https://t.co/3pjYTQ4Yil
— Adam Trahan (@AdamTrahan) May 17, 2019
He did, however, receive encouragement from men who could relate:
Big shout out to the dudes sharing similar experiences after I mentioned this the other day. It’s an unfathomably lonely feeling walking around with this thinking you can’t tell anyone because “STFU, you’re the guy, so shut up.” Oddly comforting to know that there are others 🍻🙏🏼
— Adam Trahan (@AdamTrahan) May 17, 2019
Rather than feeling guiltless gratitude for the bolstered success, Adam told The Caller many guys are walking around wracked with remorse:
“It’s like all of us were walking around in silence with this pain and shame and just waiting for the floodgates to open and let it all out. I received probably over 100 of those. There are a lot of us, and it was a truly oddly comforting feeling being able to interact with them about it. I hope I was able to provide them even a fraction of the catharsis that they were able to give to me.”
He also offered advice for any man who finds himself in a similar situation:
“Communicate early and often. Be compassionate, empathize and listen. You are BOTH in this together and there is another life at stake. Make sure that your voice is heard, but also make absolutely sure that hers is, too. You are a team, and due to the circumstances, will be always and forever. Once that’s established, I don’t see how any loving, committed partnership, no matter the circumstances, wouldn’t end up going on that familial journey together with hope.”
Among other projects, Adam produced 2015’s I’ll See You in My Dreams, starring Meet the Parents matron (and real-life mom to Gwyneth Paltrow) Blythe Danner.
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