There’s about to be a rooster in the hen house.

Stephens College, in Columbia, Missouri, is an all-girls school.

But the institution of higher learning’s changing its definition of “female,” apparently now siding with the University of Michigan in its claim that “not all women have vaginas.”

Thanks to a new policy, the establishment will now welcome Adam’s apples…and Adam’s…plums?

“[T]he College’s undergraduate residential women’s program will continue to admit and enroll students who are women and who live as women, just as it always has.”

Well. That’s a relief.

Additionally:

“It will also admit and enroll students who were not born female, but who identify and live as women; those students will need to provide legal documentation that they are legally women or that they are transitioning to female.”

Stephens is just trying to be logical:

“The College’s undergraduate residential women’s program will continue to admit and enroll students who are women and who live as women, just as it always has. It will also admit and enroll students who were not born female, but who identify and live as women; those students will need to provide legal documentation that they are legally women or that they are transitioning to female.”

And don’t worry — if you’re neither a man nor a woman, but you own a uterus, you’re d*mn good:

“The College will also continue to admit and enroll students who were born female but who identify as non- binary, meaning students who experience their gender identity as falling outside the categories of man and woman.”

BUT: If you have that same uterus and decide to call yourself Fred instead of Wilma, hit the road, pal:

“The College will no longer admit or enroll students who identify as non-binary but who are transitioning to male.”

This 2018 living is confusing. As I’ve said before, I support everyone’s freedom to present themselves however they wish. With that said, when it comes to figuring out this brave new world and how the rules apply, sometimes, I fondly recall the days when there were just boys and girls — back before we had to figure out which penises belong to which chicks, and which dudes need tampons (here, here, here, here, and here). I suspect pharmacies’ “Feminine Hygiene” sections will soon be replaced by “Front Hole Health,” and you’ll be able to buy a department store jock strap in Ladies Wear. If you prefer both, you’re welcome at Stephens College. But hour-glassed, large-breasted, PMS’ing gentleman need not apply.

-Alex

Relevant RedState links in this article: here, here, here, here, here, and here.

See 3 more pieces from me: Dan Crenshaw on personal attacks, Stacey Abrams on legitimacy, and Linda Sarsour on humanizing Jews.

Find all my RedState work here.

And please follow Alex Parker on Twitter and Facebook.

Thank you for reading! Please sound off in the Comments section below. For iPhone instructions, see the bottom of this page.

If you have an iPhone and want to comment, select the box with the upward arrow at the bottom of your screen; swipe left and choose “Request Desktop Site.” You may have to do this several times before the page reloads. Scroll down to the red horizontal bar that says “Show Comments.”