Bye Bye, Miss American Piety

Contestants for the Miss Earth Philippines 2018 beauty contest pose during a media presentation by a hotel poolside Thursday, May 10, 2018 in Manila, Philippines. 42 Philippine contestants, including the ones from Filipino communities abroad, are vying for the title which has a unique advocacy of environmental conservation. (AP Photo/Bullit Marquez)


Well, another one bites the dust.

As RedState’s streiff indicated yesterday, Gretchen Carlson — chairwoman of the Miss America pageant — announced on Good Morning America Tuesday that…well…here’s her quote. This is really incredible:


“We will no longer judge our candidates on their outward physical appearance.”


She added, “That’s huge.”

Why, yes — it is. It is huge, given that that’s the entire point of the Miss America pageant. And yes, that’s what it is: a pageant. “A rose by any other name…”

But no: gone are the swimsuit and evening gown portions.

Furthermore, she explained, it will be “a competition” — not a pageant — featuring women of “all shapes and sizes.”

In other words, zero people will have any reason to watch it.

Wait– I thought women of “all shapes and sizes” look super crazy hot in swimsuits. Isn’t that what the Left have been insisting? So why drop those categories? Are they admitting that fatties can’t be sexy? I’m outraged and triggered!

Moreover, what does she even mean by “competition?” Are they turning it into American Gladiator?

This is the absolute ridiculousness of the cultural Left. And it’s collateral damage of #MeToo and #TimesUp, which are two movements which should not exist.

Allow me to explain: in the modern vernacular, “movement” is just another word for “fad.” A movement these days is the temporary lexicon of the current news cycle.


What #MeToo and #TimesUp, if properly applied, support are really two simple principles:

  • Be decent.
  • Stand up for yourself.

If the men and women in Hollywood had followed these two guidelines, there would be nothing to report now.

Decency doesn’t come from a movement. It is the sum of all our actions in the world. We make the world a better place by adhering to decency in the way we live. And we curb indecency when we stand up for ourselves. We do this, moment to moment, perpetually. Not momentarily. Not subject to the news cycle.

We do it with the way we behave, with the integrity of our decisions, and with the ways our choices influence the world around us. We do it with the way we love those to whom we are close, value ourselves, and teach our children by example. We do it, because it is personally important to us; not because a sitcom actress says to.

All news becomes old news. In all cases, we reach a point where nobody wants to hear another media story on Topic X, and no one in the media wants to cover one. People want to hear and talk about something new.

Decency should never get old, because decency should never be new. If we really want to change the world, it takes a lot more than virtue signaling, printing T-shirts, and chanting twice a year. A Sharpie and poster board don’t change the world. It takes the masses making a choice. Anything else is just fanfare.


And, really, that’s all this change to the Miss America organization is. In its case, however, it was fluff to begin with.

So goodbye, Miss America. We used to admit that people like pretty girls. Now, I suppose, Gretchen Carlson won’t. But that doesn’t change a thing. So put on your fat-people-are-beautiful, anti-physical-appearance T-shirt. Oh, wait — don’t. It may be too form-fitting. Put on your body-shaming burka. And get your ironic movement on.

In the meantime, the world will remain exactly the same. It just won’t be watching the Miss America Skirmish.


Check out a couple more of my articles on #MeToo and virtue signaling.

Please find all my stories at my Author page.

And follow Alex Parker on Twitter.





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