The Democrats held a stealth primary debate in the dark of night on the weekend before Christmas this past Saturday, which you may be forgiven for, like 99.9 percent of the human race, not knowing about. But that’s why we’re here. To let you know what painful tortures occur every day without your knowledge. Sunlight, or something.

In any case, during the debate, wee old white lady Hillary Clinton took one heck of a bathroom break. It took her so long to come back that they went ahead and started without her. After what seemed like hours, she finally returned, although to be fair each and every two minute stretch of the debate seemed like hours.

Does this really matter? I’d say it … Depends®.

Did [mc_name name=’Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000595′ ] taking a sip of water matter? It sure did to Democrats. We still hear about it all the time, nearly three years later. So I guess that matters.

Did John McCain’s age matter? You know it did. They brought it up more frequently than Rudy Giuliani brought up 9/11. They never stopped talking about his age. They still, in fact, have the temerity to talk about the age of current GOP candidates. So it seems that matters.

Imagine if McCain had been late to return to the debate because he was in the bathroom. Seriously, they would not only bring up his age but they’d make jokes about his time as POW and whether he was permanently damaged or afraid to leave the toilet.

Imagine if Donald Trump came on stage late and the audience cheered. We’d be treated to think pieces about how it is impossible for him to do wrong in the eyes of the Republican electorate, who wet themselves every time he burps. But Hillary comes traipsing on stage with toilet paper metaphorically stuck to her orthopedic shoes and you’re a jerk if you bring it up.

It goes without saying that the media is biased. They have a hard time holding it in. But people seem less accepting of the fact that the media are totally in the tank for Hillary to the exclusion of all other issues. Bernie, for example, isn’t in this in this. He’s being given token attention to satisfy the Dem version of Ron Paul voters. They have debates as part of their pretense that they are having a primary. But we know what they all think. We saw it on SNL last night. It’s Hillary’s turn and they are going to make it happen, by any method.

How far will they go? Depends®. But if she doesn’t win, at least she can rest assured there will be a longish post-politics career pitching Activia and reverse mortages and, of course, the obvious one.