Cool Million in Craft Booze Stolen in Wicked Whiskey Heist

A while back, I was in at the doctor's office for my annual routine checks and maintenance. In the course of this, she asked me the usual series of questions, including one about my alcohol intake. "I don't drink whiskey anymore," I told her, which drew an immediate, sharp gaze from my wife. "But I don't drink whiskey any less, either," I amended.

A lot of us like a little snort now and then. While beer seems to go better with food, whiskey is just the thing for sitting in a lawn chair on the deck, enjoying a sunny Alaska summer afternoon, or just before bed, when it helps send one off to the Land of Nod. But most of us buy our hooch, openly and honestly, for our own consumption and for sharing with friends and family as the occasion allows.

Not everyone is so much on the up and up. Skagit Valley, Washington, is home to the Westland Distillery, which was recently the victim of a carrier fraud heist of a cool million in craft booze.

Thieves who made off with 12,000 bottles of craft whiskey in a rare U.S. liquor heist this summer did more than just snag nearly $1 million worth of product -- they also spirited away nearly half the stock of a single malt distillers had worked for more than a decade to make.
Now the Skagit Valley Sheriff’s Office is investigating, and whiskey aficionados are wondering if — and where — the coveted bottles of Westland Distillery’s first 10-year Garryana whiskey might turn up.
The bottles disappeared July 31, when someone in a freight truck showed up at Westland Distillery’s warehouse in Burlington, Washington, holding the paperwork that purportedly gave them the right to pick up a shipment of Westland single malt, Watchpost blended, and Garryana whiskies bound for New Jersey.

Ever seen a grown man cry? Try stealing his supply of craft hooch, and it will provoke tears in the manliest among us - but beware, as they may be tears of rage. I mean, really, stealing whiskey? By the moon and the stars, is nothing sacred anymore? I mean, if a man will steal whiskey, he'll steal anything.

But the bottles never arrived at their intended destination, and the “sophisticated, fraudulent carrier scheme” was discovered a week later, said Jason Moore, the managing director of the Seattle-based distillery.
“This is an unfortunate and pretty extraordinary situation,” said Moore.

That much is certain. Fortunately, it seems that the Westland Distillery is solvent enough to stand the loss, which, while it stings, won't put them out of business. That's good.

Another Trump 'Golden Age' Effect? New Poll Says Republicans Are Drinking Less

Here's the thing: That's a lot of easily identifiable, rather unique whiskey. It won't be easy for the goblins who pulled this off to fence this contraband hooch. Even though there would have necessarily been a crew of malefactors involved in this heist, at least two or three people, it will be likewise difficult for them to drink it all. So, be on the lookout. If someone asks you if you want to buy a case or two of Westland Distillery whiskey, call for the law!

Meanwhile, I may have to take myself hither to my favorite Wasilla hooch store and buy a bottle of Westland Distillery whiskey for myself - purely in the interest of helping a small business recover, you understand.

Editor’s Note: Thanks to President Trump’s leadership and bold policies, America’s economy is back on track, including (but not limited to) booze sales.

Help us continue to report on the president’s economic successes and combat the lies of the Democrats. Join RedState VIP and use promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your membership.