The Bear Paw Parade is a fun event, held in the Chugiak-Eagle River community, for Alaska families. But this year, something unexpected and unwelcome, came to the party.
Oh, for the luvva Pete. Come on, Alaska, we’re better than this.
The Bear Paw Parade celebrated its 40th anniversary on Saturday with all the charm and energy locals have come to love. From pageant princesses and football teams to candy-tossing floats and grinning kids lining the route, the annual event felt as youthful and joyful as ever.
But this year’s celebration came with an unexpected twist. A group of “no circumcision” protesters disrupted the family-friendly atmosphere with graphic signage and costumes featuring blood-red stains over their pants. Their presence rattled many parade-goers, prompting calls to local law enforcement.
Yeah, the nutbars were within their First Amendment rights. But what was their issue? And why here, at the Bear Paw Festival, a family event?
Read More: Alaska Man Monday - Everyone Loves a Parade!
The Bear Paw festival organizers had this to say:
During what should’ve been a joyful, family-friendly afternoon full of music, parades, and festival fun, a group of demonstrators chose to share a very specific message about circumcision. While we absolutely respect the right to free speech, this was not the time or place for such content.
Our team quickly contacted the Anchorage Police Department’s non-emergency line. Officers responded promptly and professionally. Because of the public nature of our event, removal was not possible, but the situation remained peaceful and was monitored closely. No injuries occurred, and the festivities continued as planned.
To call this “inappropriate” is a massive understatement. These nuts should be ashamed of themselves. You know, there’s a time and place for everything, and the Bear Paw Parade ain’t the place for this. We didn’t attend, but my wife is fairly certain that the crowd was yelling “Go back to California” at the kooks.
Alaska Man score: I award these kooks no moose nuggets, and may God have mercy on their souls.
Meanwhile, down on the Kenai Peninsula, something else weird was happening:
Alaska State Troopers reported a chaotic scene Friday evening near Mile 46 when multiple 911 calls came in about an adult male running into traffic, striking vehicles, and undressing himself in a roadside pullout. Responding troopers from Seward and Soldotna eventually located the individual in a nearby vehicle.
The man, identified as 29-year-old Aucha Johnson of Anchorage, was arrested on three counts of first-degree indecent exposure, as well as charges of fourth-degree assault and disorderly conduct. He was transported to Wildwood Pretrial Facility in Kenai, where he was held without bail pending arraignment.
Unlike the thousands peacefully casting nets for wild salmon, Johnson’s became another wild roadside attraction in Cooper Landing.
Again, inappropriate – and, we suspect, Mr. Johnson may have been under the influence of an unprofessionally compounded mind-altering chemical substance at the time. Seems the most likely explanation.
Read More: Alaska Man Monday - a Protest That Wasn't, a Dumb Crook, and Wascally Wabbits
Alaska Man score: As above. No points for you, not even for the slight amusement factor.
Summer, even in Alaska, sure seems to bring out the kooks.
And now, a word from your local PBS aficionado (just kidding.) Check it out:
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