Over the 60-odd years I've been wandering around this planet, I've made something of a habit of observing human behavior. We're interesting creatures, and our behavior is complex and intriguing. Those of you who have been reading my work for some time know that my undergraduate education is in Biology, but when taking my undergrad degree, I leaned heavily into animal behavior and field zoology, as my initial goal was to go into wildlife biology. That is, until I found out what they pay wildlife biologists, which is, candidly, doodley-squat.
I am still a student of animal behavior in general and human behavior in particular, though, and while observing, I have noted a few phenomena that I have recorded, some rising to the level of fundamental laws of the universe. How do I know they have risen to this level? Because I say so. Many of you will have noticed my mention of these fundamental laws, but you'll want to bookmark this piece as a reference because I will now give you the complete listing to the best of my memory. So, without further ado:
Clark's Law of Social Issues Degradation: "Every social movement will continue until it reaches absurdity." Look to the climate scolds on this one. When I was very young, in the '60s and '70s, there were very serious problems with pollution in the United States. The bald eagle, our national symbol, was an endangered species. The air in our major cities was very nearly unbreathable. Rivers were catching fire, and you couldn't eat fish from those rivers - if you could find any fish. But that problem has been solved. Our air and waters are cleaner than they have been since before the Industrial Revolution. But the environmental movement that drove a lot of that clean-up has now morphed into something different, something absurd; scolds who don't live in the environment themselves, but who harangue the rest of us to surrender much, if not all, of our modern lifestyle because they claim to know what the earth's "correct" temperature is.
Clark's Law of Inverse Bumper Sticker Intelligence: "The intelligence of a driver is inversely proportionate to the number of bumper stickers on their vehicle." It doesn't matter what the bumper stickers say or what side of the political spectrum they support, although there is a corollary to this law, that being Clark's First Corollary to the Law of Inverse Bumper Sticker Intelligence, which states "The number of bumper stickers on a vehicle is in direct corrolation to how left of the political center the driver of that vehicle stands." You've all seen them: usually a Subaru, driven by an aging hippie or a blue-haired millenial, coated with "COEXIST," "Bernie Sanders," and other leftist claptrap in the form of a hundred or so bumper stickers plastered all over the back of the vehicle.
See Also: Are Shopping Bags Now the Ultimate Climate Virtue-Signal?
Clark's Law of Communist Pickpocketing: "Communists will always present themselves with one hand out looking for a donation, normally from a capitalist country — and the other hidden behind their back, holding a knife to be inserted in the donor's back at a later date." Just look at the history of America's foreign relationships with countries like China. Everyone who has watched the Middle Kingdom has long ago concluded that they would love nothing more than to give it to us in the neck and take all our stuff. That's how communists work; they count on us selling them the rope to hang us with.
Clark's Law of Leftists Destroying the Village to Save It: "It is always the left, never the right, that calls for trashing the Constitution when they don't get their way." They call to trash the Electoral College when they lose a presidential election. They call for ignoring the Second Amendment whenever it suits them. They call for ignoring the First Amendment when a little old lady is arrested for praying in front of an abortion clinic. And sometimes, they call for getting rid of the Constitution altogether.
Clark's Law of Taxational Patriotism: "When taxation is levied, the claim that paying taxes is an act of patriotism shall invariably be followed by a demand for higher taxes." This never fails; the shibboleth inevitably trotted out by the left when demanding we surrender more of our personal income to feed the Pantagruelian federal government is that we aren't patriotic if we object. This, even though they could easily show their own patriotism by donating more to the federal leviathan than tax laws allow, but they never do this; they want us to pay, not them.
See Also: Beware: People Who Say Paying Taxes Is Patriotic, Always Want to Make You Pay More
Clark's Law of Progressive Government Bloat: "Government, in any form and at every level, grows ever larger and more intrusive over time." Just look to our own nation as proof. Before the Depression, the only time most Americans had any interaction at all with the federal government was when they went to the post office. A hundred years ago, in 1920, government was 1.5 percent of GDP. Today? Over 20 percent per year, all told.
Remember these as you peruse the news of the day. These laws have broad application, not solely to the United States but to governments in general, and you'll see them resurface time and again. And rest assured, I will be searching out and identifying more of these fundamental laws. Stay tuned.
