There are a lot of things I wonder about. Some of them are things I’m just curious about. Others are things that seem somehow fundamentally unfair about life in general. And some, I suppose, are just me. I've been putting this list together for some time; this is just the latest iteration. 

So, just for discussion, here are some of those things – maybe some of you readers will have some answers.

I wonder why we have so much more free time when we’re old and crotchety than when we’re young enough to appreciate it. Sometimes it seems unfair that we spend our youths working our tuchuses off so that we can enjoy free time while we’re old and decrepit. But then, when I get old(er), I don’t plan to be decrepit. I’m still able to keep up with the chores around here, so, so far, so good.

I wonder why people buy high-performance cars and then drive five miles under the speed limit in the left lane. You see them all the time, even here in Alaska; while driving into Anchorage on the three-lane highway recently, two left-lane vigilantes were road-hogging that left lane, one a newer Mustang, another an older Camaro. Makes no sense. Slower traffic keeps right!

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I wonder why they call it a “lisp” when, if you have one, you can’t say so. Someone clearly didn’t think that through.

I wonder why people worry about things like asteroid strikes or the Yellowstone mega-volcano. If it happens, it happens, and we can’t do anything about it. Why worry?

I wonder why people take someone seriously just because he or she is a “celebrity.” From what you actually hear from most of these people – I’m looking at you, Rob Reiner – they are typically about as witty, intelligent, and interesting as a plate of beans trying to negotiate their way out of someone’s colon.

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I wonder why Japanese schoolgirls wear what amounts to a sailor’s outfit. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Japan, and these uniforms seem pretty ubiquitous. These kids are not going to school on a ship. Does anyone know?

I wonder if all the cat videos were suddenly deleted from the internet, would the resulting void collapse into a singularity and draw the rest of the Earth down its gravity well?

I wonder if that happened, would it happen too fast for anyone to put something up about it on X or Facebook?

I wonder, for that matter, why people still use Facebook.

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I wonder if Kaiser Bill mustaches will ever make a comeback. I don’t have a robust enough mustache to try that style myself, which is the source of considerable frustration. I’d love to be able to start that particular trend.

I wonder why people worry about dying. Everybody does, so there seems little reason to spend much brain run-time on it, other than taking what prudent actions we can (diet, exercise, etc.) to make sure we don’t check out too soon. I have every intention of living forever. And from my perspective, I will. We all live until the end of time.

I wonder who invented the Swiss Army knife. I mean, the Swiss Army must have always been very confident of victory in any conflict they engaged in. Why else would they include a corkscrew on their Army knife?

I wonder why people make “winning the lottery” part of their retirement plans. Trying to get rich by playing the state lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on commercial airliners. Your odds of dying on an airliner are probably higher than winning the lottery. It is for this reason that the various state lotteries are known as a “tax on stupidity.” If you feel like gambling, play slot machines. The odds of winning are much higher.

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Incidentally, my favorite term for “deep thoughts” in general is the Latin omphaloskepsis, which means, in effect, to scrutinize one’s navel. I like dropping oddball terms like that into conversations, just to see how people react. I’m odd like that.

How about you? Is there anything you’ve always wondered about but have been unable to arrive at an answer? The comments, as always, are yours.

As for me, I think I'll go back to looking out the window.