Just a little dab will do ya!

Modern medicine has produced all kinds of groundbreaking new procedures and treatments, but one that a lot of folks don't know much about (because, ew) is fecal transplants.

Saffron Cassidy suffered from ulcerative colitis, a type of inflammatory bowel disease, for 15 years before she allegedly cured it using her partner’s poop.  “It’s been about three and a half years of having no symptoms whatsoever,” she told Yahoo Life. “And my colonoscopies show complete histologic remission.”

Now Cassidy has become an evangelist for the procedure known as faecal microbiota transplants (FMT). She has even made a documentary, Designer Shit: A Microbiome Love Story.

There are restrictions on the conditions doctors can treat using FMT, but a growing body of published work on FMTs holds promise for a range of disorders. 

This has triggered several social media videos on how people can generate their own FMT products and administer the treatment in their own homes. However, this DIY approach carries significant risks.

(Full disclosure: I saw Do It Yourself Fecal Transplant open for The Sex Pistols in 1977.)

Turns out this does fall into the "don't try this at home" category.

In cases of DIY faecal transplants, the sufferers will often take poo samples from partners, family members, or close friends in the belief that they are healthy. But they will be unaware of any hidden factors that could cause further complications. 

Unfortunately, these DIY “success stories” may lead to more people believing that they may be cured of afflictions through repeating the process, but there is no guarantee of success and a very real threat of complications in later years.

Some things are best left to the professionals, and this seems like one of those. While not in the same realm as, say, do-it-yourself triple bypass surgery or do-it-yourself chemotherapy, the poop transplant seems to be something that you wouldn't want to attempt yourself. Of course, the purveyors of all sorts of alternative medicine nitwittery will always be out there; I could mention certain Holywood celebrities and their penchants for marketing all sorts of woo, like jade eggs that are to be... how can I put this delicately... inserted to remove "toxins" from one's body. The purveyor of this is full of more of the assimilated end-product of the digestive process than all of the do-it-yourself fecal transplant kits ever made, and she's certainly not alone in this kind of nitwittery.

Only yesterday, of course, I wrote about a Washington Post scribe complaining about "citizen journalists," but nobody ever had their physical health threatened by reading a news or opinion piece (their mental health, on the other hand, may merit some consideration) but medical procedures are surely in a different realm. (Gwyneth, are you listening?)

When suffering from the aftereffects of a holiday meal, it may be tempting to consider an unconventional remedy, but please, don't try this at home. Consult with your healthcare professional; they are best suited to get to the bottom of things. (Gwyneth, are you listening?)

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