Black Activists Provide a Way for White Americans to Pay Off Their White Guilt

Well, here’s a stupid.

A group of black activists are providing a way for white Americans to assuage any nagging “white guilt” they may be burdened with.

The group are providing monthly subscriptions, coming in the form of subscription boxes. These handy-dandy boxes are intended to

“not only financially support Black femme freedom fighters, but also complete measurable tasks in the fight against white supremacy.”

Isn’t that special?

So how do the thought police intend to change the hearts and minds of white America, bending them to their perception of justice?

The service, called the Safety Pin Box (after the movement of wearing safety pins to signal that someone is safe for minorities to approach), began last week, and was formed by Leslie Mac and Marissa Jenae Johnson, a Black Lives Matter protester who gained attention by interrupting a Bernie Sanders speech in Seattle last year.

There are four different types of subscriptions offered by the group. The “e-ally box” is $25 a month and is “an electronic form of solidarity.” It comes with “exclusive ‘calls to action’ when urgent ally services are needed in times of crisis.” Ally is a term used by Black Lives Matter activists to describe white comrades.
There is then the “pin pals box” which is a box shared by two white people for $100 total. Lucky subscribers get a “physical ‘safety pin’ box shipped to one address with guided two-person tasks for the month.”

There is then the “premiere” box subscription which costs $100 a month. This includes a “physical ‘safety pin’ box shipped to you with guided ally tasks for the month. Tasks will vary in scope from individual to group assignments, and task categories include data collection, personal development, influencing your networks, and showing radical compassion.”

Before you all rush to grab your wallets, you should probably know about the “Revenge Box,” as well.

For the low, low price of $50, you can send this one-time box to the “Trump supporter, bigot, or white supremacist” of your choosing. Just in time for Christmas!

That person gets a link to a website, where they can peruse all the shenanigans of Black Lives Matter and read stories about black excellence.

There’s no word on how many liberal arts majors have hit up their parents’ credit cards to pay for this service, yet, but it’s safe to say, anyone willing to participate in this grand scam has far more money than common sense.