Comey’s Tweets Have Been Deciphered!

On Oct. 28, 2013, President Barack Obama and James Comey participate in the installation ceremony for Mr. Comey as FBI director at the bureau’s Washington headquarters. PHOTO: CHARLES DHARAPAK/ASSOCIATED PRESS

Former FBI Director James Comey has maintained a personal Twitter account since he was summarily fired by President Trump on 9 May 2017. [Note: Comey’s leftist supporters claim he was “dismissed;” yeah, right, given what we’ve learned about him from the Horowitz report, etc., he was fired for cause.] Anyway, his periodic tweets since then can only be described as esoteric, bizarre, and detached from reality – unless there is something more to them than meets the average eye. It’s tinfoil hat time, folks! But first, here is what leftists and other garden variety Democrats have thought about Comey’s tweeting from the very beginning, as reported in the Washington Post:

There’s a popular theory among Comey’s disciples that his tweets, which take the form of simple quotations and photos of trees, should not be read literally, nor in a political vacuum.

Rather, the theory goes, the mystic writings of former FBI director James B. Comey aimed squarely at our political leaders — and at the president who fired him, in particular.

And then there’s this puff piece from early 2017 in which the New Yorker compared Comey to Reinhold Niebuhr, a 20th-century Christian theologian and ethicist:

It may be of no great significance that a Twitter account likely associated with James Comey has Reinhold Niebuhr’s name affixed to it. And yet the Niebuhr connection serves as a reminder of the roots of public service – the compote of ideas, personality, influence, and moral virtue that prompts Comey and people like him to go into government work in the first place.

Yeah, right. Comey really fits that description, doesn’t he? We have watched his bald-faced lies and smug equivocation and prevarication in countless television interviews over the past 2.5 years, and the Horowitz report completely destroyed his personal narrative – as well as any notion that he was “ethical” and an heir to Niebuhr’s orthodoxy.

Other observers have speculated that Comey’s tweets range from simply trolling President Trump to sending secret messages to other members of the cabal via steganographic techniques. Let’s run with the latter theory for a bit (my tinfoil hat is now on). Here is a good working definition of steganography:

Steganography is the technique of hiding secret data within an ordinary, non-secret, file or message in order to avoid detection; the secret data is then extracted at its destination. The use of steganography can be combined with encryption as an extra step for hiding or protecting data. The word steganography is derived from the Greek words steganos (meaning hidden or covered) and the Greek root graph (meaning to write).

Steganography can be used to conceal almost any type of digital content, including text, image, video or audio content; the data to be hidden can be hidden inside almost any other type of digital content. The content to be concealed through steganography — called hidden text — is often encrypted before being incorporated into the innocuous-seeming cover text file or data stream. If not encrypted, the hidden text is commonly processed in some way in order to increase the difficulty of detecting the secret content.

I can now confirm that Comey has been sending secret messages to his fellow conspirators for months, as I have deciphered a number of them, which convey some interesting insights, as follows:

Translation: Guys! See those five rocks lined up left to right? If our Deep State allies fail to spike the investigations, those will become our headstones.

Translation: Great news, guys! Our Russian friends are saying “thanks” for helping implement their dezinformatsiya plan to divide the country. Keep up the spinning.

Translation: Heads up! Be sure to get debriefed and read out of your security clearances ASAP so that interviews by Horowitz and others at the DoJ will be limited to unclassified content only.

Translation: Keep up the spinning, guys; it’s working just like we planned, as our media allies are spreading our narrative far and wide, and polls are showing a lot of gullible Americans believe the Russian hoax. We need to help them with a big reason to vote Democrat in order to take over the House in a couple of months. Then, we can get rid of Trump, and the heat will be turned off us.

Translation: Whew! I was really worried that that guy would turn state’s evidence on us because he was very helpful in passing the Steele dossier around and knew where a lot of bodies are buried. We dodged a bullet.

Translation: Damn deplorables! It really gnaws on me that they didn’t understand that Hillary was the rightful heir to Barack’s throne. We were right to do what we did to try to take out Trump.

Translation: Stay strong! Horowitz will never figure out what we did with the FISA applications.

Translation: It’s looking like the only way to escape the hoosegow is by electing a Democrat House that will impeach Trump. Get your checkbooks out now!

Translation: Now the table is sent to impeach the muthah-f*****h!

Translation: Yikes! Our pals on the Mueller team are telling me that Trump is going to get off the hook. Time to get the spin machine working overtime in advance of the release of the Mueller report.

Translation: We all need to start thinking seriously about our own personal exit strategies. The tide is turning against us. Make sure you’ve got a couple of fake passports handy.

Translation: Trump found an honest replacement for Sessions. We’re in trouble. Our only hope is to attack him publicly as being a Trump toady in order to discredit him in the public’s consciousness and help the Democrats impeach Trump.

Translation: I’m still spinning the false narrative. You guys need to get your asses in gear before the Horowitz report comes out!

Translation: He’s onto us! We’re in deep kimchi.

Translation: I pine for the good old Obama days when we could go after anyone we wanted to for political reasons without fear of retribution (or even exposure).

Translation: Mueller screwed the pooch. Need a new plan fast.

Translation: Dodged that bullet! Horowitz had me nailed dead to rights, but DoJ “declined to prosecute.”

Translation: We still have half the country fooled! Keep up the spinning against Trump.

Translation: The Democrats may save our butts (and themselves) yet! This Ukraine bull crap is looking good. Who are the numb-skulls who really believe this crap?

Translation: Don’t look at me about breaking oaths; look at that guy over there! Keep throwing stuff against the wall; we’ve got to make it stick to get rid of Trump.

Translation: I’m going to keep lying until I’m in irons. Thank God that the Washington Post still allows me to publish my baloney, but then they’re complicit, too, so what choice do they have at this point?

Translation: Our pals at the FBI and DoJ are still covering for us. We still have a shot to escape the hangman.

I mean, those just HAVE to be his real messages, don’t they? Having broken Comey’s code, the tweet I’m really watching for is one showing the takeoff of a Qatar Airways or Aeroflot jet from Dulles Airport, which will be the signal for all of the cabal to flee the country. That could happen as early as mid-January, as a few of my pals tell me that we’ll see some important indictments at about that time. No steganography needed to convey that message!

The end.

PostScript. For any Democrat readers, here is a little help: this was a parody.