At one of his many weddings, actor Charlie Sheen received a wedding gift from none other than Donald Trump. This is not surprising. Trump and Sheen had many friends in common and shared the same politics and a common sense of morality up until last summer when Trump decided he was a Republican. The gift was a set of diamond-and-platinum cufflinks. The result was hilarious.

Six months later, Sheen asked a jeweler appraising jewelry at his home to take a look at the ’links.

“She took the loupe, spent about four seconds, and kind of recoiled from it — much like people do from Trump — and says ‘in their finest moment, this is cheap pewter and bad zirconias,’” said Sheen, who dismissed the real estate mogul as a “charlatan.”

“And they’re stamped ‘Trump.’ And I just thought, ‘what does this really say about the man, that he said, ‘here’s a great wedding gift,’ and it’s just a bag of dog sh*t?” Trump has so far not commented on the claims.

Given the way Donald Trump desperately tried to stiff the veterans charities he had collected money for, him cheating Charlie Sheen is not a huge surprise. More to the point, this is perhaps the best possible metaphor for the Trump campaign. What Trump is selling he claims to be diamonds and platinum. He’s going to build a wall. He’s going to make those nasty Mexicans pay for it. He’s going to make only the best trade deals. He’s going to kick terrorist ass. He’s going to keep high-wage manufacturing jobs in the United States by driving out of business any company that refuses to comply with his whims. He’s going to totally repeal the law of supply and demand, he may get rid of gravity while he’s at it.

In reality he’s leaving a stinking, flaming bag of dog sh*t on our front steps.