Why are Democrats just so danged bad at the whole “grillin’ out” campaign video thing?
That’s the question our sister site Twitchy and many other concerned citizens across America are asking tonight after Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio) who is running for the Senate seat currently held by Republican Sen. Rob Portman (who is retiring next year) posted a video recently where he was seen “flipping” raw burgers on a grill and asking voters to help “FLIP Ohio blue”:
Can you help us FLIP Ohio blue? 😎 pic.twitter.com/9dGssbSjud
— Tim Ryan (@TimRyan) October 29, 2021
First things first, there was no beer can in the video – let alone an opened beer can – which in my opinion is just basic Grillin’ Out 101. That’s failure number one.
Failure number two is that it appears the grill is not even turned on, which from what I understand you’re actually supposed to do well before you put the first burger on the grill. Seriously, y’all – no beers and a cold grill is just not a good look here.
Failure number three is that if you notice when he “flips” the burger back onto the grill, it appears it is “flipped” 360 degrees? I thought when one “flipped” a burger it was supposed to be flipped to the other side. Thoughts?
Failure number four is that the grill itself (not the surrounding parts of it) looks a little too clean. I’ve always heard that food that is grilled out tastes much better and more authentic when you get some of the “flavor” of past cookouts mixed in.
Failure number five is that his shirt is clean. A good manly grill meister never appears before his grill in photos or videos in a clean shirt. Where’s the grease? The seasoning sauce? The beer stains?
In my view, the smarter move here for Ryan would be to encourage people to “chip in” whatever they can to help him pay for some books from Amazon or wherever on how to grill out – and perhaps if he gets enough money rolling in he can afford some propane so it can be turned on, which would be a huge help in this situation. I mean hello?
Ryan’s video reminded me of the cringe “grill out” video Virginia Democratic gubernatorial nominee Terry McAuliffe did earlier this year in honor of Independence Day, complete with a cheesy American flag polo shirt which might have been the only somewhat decent thing about the video. The first thing he got wrong was referring to the day as “July 4th” instead of “Independence Day.” But there was a lot more he got wrong in the video, which should be obvious to even those with only a mere passing acquaintance on how to cook burgers on a grill:
Happy July 4th, Virginia. This year is extra special. America is back.🇺🇸🇺🇸🍻🍺🌭🍔 pic.twitter.com/VrWKK9viAm
— Terry McAuliffe (@TerryMcAuliffe) July 3, 2021
I mean McAuliffe’s video was so bad that it triggered our own Joe Cunningham (who I’ve been told but cannot independently confirm can whip up a mean N’awlins succotash when he puts his mind to it), who accused McAuliffe of a “massive crime against grilling.”
Lastly, there was failed 2020 North Carolina Democrat Senate nominee Cal Cunningham’s infamous “brioche buns” grillin’ out photo, complete with the (again) clean, brand-spanking-new apron that read “Ambassador for North Carolina BBQ,” which I can assure you was one of the most horrifying moments in NC political history:
There’s nothing better than BBQ—except for winning this Senate seat, of course. pic.twitter.com/oEsDXIZ5O2
— Cal Cunningham (@CalforNC) September 28, 2020
So very, very cringe. Had Cunningham not lost over the affair scandals, he likely would have lost over that photo. Seriously. That goes against all that is good and decent about this state and the south. Past candidates for public office here have found this out the hard way.
McAuliffe holding an unopened beer can in a video where he’s bragging about drinking “a cold one” should be automatic grounds for disqualification in my opinion. Virginia Republican gubernatorial nominee Glenn Youngkin must save the state from this monster for that reason alone, but there are plenty more reasons to do so from where that came from.
Do your thing, Virginians, and give him a reason to actually open up a beer can – so he can cry a few sweet liberal tears into it on election night.