Hillary cares! Hillary works hard! Hillary is a wife, a mother, she’s even a woman! And any man fortunate enough to have a wife, a close girlfriend or to know his biological mother has met somebody equally qualified to serve as POTUS. But your wife doesn’t have the resources to hire out a pop artist for a cheesy country music video. UCLA doesn’t pay her $300K for ½ hour speeches. Nobody has given that woman in your life one of New York State’s senate seats to play with for six years. For those of you cynical enough to ask “What difference does it make?” that, right there is your answer. Hillary is connected.

Hillary knows what creates jobs. Don’t let anyone tell you its businesses or corporations that create jobs. Cronyism creates jobs in America. And Hillary Clinton should know. She was just about dead broke.* The bill collectors were dunning her. Her furniture was in the street and a cold wind blew through her threadbare sweater as angry flakes of snow fell from a sullen, leaden, glowering sky.** She isn’t a rich. She’s you!

Now you don’t know this yet, but you will vote for Hillary. There is no more important qualification for the job than inevitability. If you have trouble voting for Hillary, and keep doing crazy things like voting for Bernie Sanders or some Republican instead, the voting machine will help you by changing your vote to Hillary so that your life is easier. In some precincts they’ve even installed the Llewelyn Humphries Mark-2000 that enables you to vote both early and often.

Hillary cares! Hillary works hard! Hillary is a wife, a mother, she’s even a woman! BZZZTTTT…. Hillary is connected….Sprkkt…. Hillary knows what creates jobs….Must. Smash. Glass. Ceilllllllllll-ing…Gosub 20145 Next K, Do I = 1 to 10…

OK. So she still seems a bit robotic. Almost as if she were programmed and somewhat implausibly artificial. But none of that matters. You will vote Hillary. It is inevitable.

*-She had $1.04M on hand when she ran for the US Senate.

**-I exagerated. Now she and Bill don’t have to.