It’s the end of the year, and time for end-of-the-year roundups. Here are the Top Five Ted Cruz Twitter Burns of 2017:
1) Ted Cruz Pwns Deadspin
First, we have this exchange from January. The lefty site Deadspin asked for a picture of Ted Cruz playing basketball:
Send us proof of Ted Cruz playing basketball https://t.co/MgGLnsscPf pic.twitter.com/mpxI5EBQkK
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) January 23, 2017
Cruz’s response:
what do I win? pic.twitter.com/9XuRmmIkJS
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) January 25, 2017
(Hint: that’s not really him. It’s Duke’s Grayson Allen.) Deadspin made the mistake of responding in the following churlish fashion:
Go eat shit.
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) January 25, 2017
Cruz kept his cool and responded with this:
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) January 25, 2017
2) Ted Cruz Pwns New York Times Reporter
Then there is this, from August 14, 2017. A clueless New York Times reporter thought it would be clever to tweet this:
Sorry to be cynical, but most of all Rubio and Ted Cruz to me seem mostly to be doing a tremendous job of posturing for 2020.
— Eric Lipton (@EricLiptonNYT) August 13, 2017
Cruz’s response:
Gosh, you're right. Because Nazis & the Klan have such love for Cuban-Americans. If only we worked for a paper that shilled for Stalin…. https://t.co/PBsFqauXq2
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) August 14, 2017
Ouch!
3) Ted Cruz Pwns Ben Sasse
After Ben Sasse did a humorous video apology to Ted Cruz for spilling a Dr. Pepper on him, a Twitter wag made this joke:
If I were sitting with the son of the guy who killed Kennedy I might do worse than spill some Dr Pepper.
— Neil Hansen (@njh2005) October 18, 2017
Sasse responded:
full disclosure:
i was wearing my "Lee Harvey Oswald Was Framed" t-shirt https://t.co/93lKIizkVO— Ben Sasse (@BenSasse) October 18, 2017
And Cruz’s response was a hilarious nod to the jokes about him being the Zodiac killer:
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) October 18, 2017
4) Ted Cruz Pwns Rand Paul
Rand Paul engaged in his traditional Festivus airing of grievances on Twitter again this year, and he took a couple of shots at Cruz in the process. Cruz had recently gotten into a fracas with Mark Hamill on Twitter, and Sen. Paul had this to say about it:
My friend @tedcruz decided to have an #AiringofGrievances early with @HamillHimself. On Star Wars opening weekend. Hmm pic.twitter.com/msnzLeXkxn
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
There are how many million Americans who’ve wanted to force-choke Ted, and he picked on the one who could do It. Brave, he is pic.twitter.com/rL5c65wMoH
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
I’m KIDDING, Ted. You’re likeable enough
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Cruz got back at Paul pretty good. Everyone I read this to said: “Whoa.”
.@RandPaul appreciate the kind Festivus sentiments. Call me, next time you need somebody to mow your lawn…. https://t.co/m0FTQhNsKt
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 24, 2017
Whoa.
Finally, we have this:
5) Ted Cruz Pwns Bernie Sanders
After Bernie Sanders suggested that we should make the GOP tax “cut” bill permanent:
.@jaketapper: “Next year, 91% of middle income Americans will receive a tax cut. Isn’t that a good thing?”@BernieSanders: “Yeah, it is a very good thing. And that’s why we should’ve made the tax cuts for the middle class permanent” #CNNSOTU https://t.co/ei8xTHGo1E
— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) December 24, 2017
Cruz responded with this:
I agree, @BernieSanders — let's make the middle-class tax cuts permanent. Join me, we'll co-sponsor legislation (I've already got it drafted) that does exactly that, and we'll get it passed in January! https://t.co/7A3Wg6c4M9
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 27, 2017
Chances of this: zero. But it was good for Cruz to call Bernie’s bluff.
So there you have it: Ted Cruz’s Five Best Twitter Burns of 2017. Feel free to share it with friends.
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