Happy Birthday, Joe, Now Retire: Staff Has to Pull Out 'Bubble Wrap Strategy' to Deal With His Issues

AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

Monday is Joe Biden's 81st birthday, and he's the oldest person ever to occupy the Oval Office. 

I've spoken before about what a challenging thing it must be to be a staffer trying to deal with the problems of Joe Biden. Even higher profile officials like Secretary of State Antony Blinken have a tough time dealing with his mistakes, issues, and stumbles, and you can see it on their faces.

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Not only does he physically stumble, but he stumbles in so many other ways as well.

“He doesn’t look and speak the part,” John B. Judis, a longtime political strategist and author, told the Times. “He’s not a commanding or charming presence on a presidential or presidential election stage,” Judis noted.

“I think a lot of voters and young people in particular who are not at all put off by his political positions or accomplishments are put off by his utter failure as a regal persona,” Judis said.

“And I don’t know how that can be fixed. Not by bicycling.”

Now there's a name that has leaked about the strategy to protect old Joe: the "Bubble Wrap Strategy." 

We've heard a little bit of it already -- about using the short stairs so he's less likely to trip for example and wearing shoes that are less likely to make him slip.  But there's more. Looks like it includes the doctor's spinning and some extra "enlightenment."

The president’s doctors have claimed that certain traits — like Biden’s shuffled gait or the re-emergence of his stutter — are unrelated to questions of acuity, and some of Biden’s verbal stumbles appear to stem from his decision not to wear glasses in public.

Still, White House aides have reportedly created a safety net of small accommodations for the president, including regularly using a lower set of stairs to board Air Force One, and Secret Service and staff members using flashlights and verbal warnings to guide the president in backstage settings.

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"Re-emergence of the stutter"? Sorry, that doesn't explain the incoherence that has nothing to do with a stutter. It's frankly insulting to people who truly stutter to use that excuse for incoherence. 

Yes, I do believe he has problems seeing the teleprompter for example, we see him squinting and getting things wrong all the time. Again, that doesn't explain all the incoherence. And also wear glasses then. If he refuses to wear glasses for vanity or some other silly reason, that's on him. 

Using flashlights to guide him? Oh, my. I want to see the video for that. Have we gotten to that point that the guy occupying the Oval Office is so impaired he needs light to shine the way in his darkness? If that's the case, he shouldn't be there. If that's the case, he should retire. Happy birthday, please go home. 

Some are arguing that he leans into the age thing, arguing his age is an asset. 

Yeah, no. He doesn't have the humor of Ronald Reagan to carry that off, and the problem is that he keeps making these mistakes that show it's a problem. So fluffing it off as nothing just makes it look like you don't care.

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You can't bubblewrap his brain when it goes offline. 

And he's only going to get older and it's likely to go offline even more than before. 

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