As our dearly departed (from the site) friend Moe Lane would say, Come, I will conceal nothing from you: I did not watch the Harry and Meghan interview with Oprah Winfrey last night. Food Network kicked off its second season of “Tournament of Champions,” and last night’s big winner was far more interesting than anything I could have hoped to watch in the interview everyone else was plugged into.

However, I was also scrolling through Twitter during the commercial breaks of “Tournament of Champions,” and based on what I saw on social media, I am about 75 percent certain I’m caught up on the situation.

If you thought a bunch of monarchy-hating Americans spilled a lot of tea on December 6, 1773, it turns out those guys were absolute amateurs compared to the tea that Oprah (at one point arguably Queen of America herself) and Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, spilled last night.

Not watching but my understanding is that America and Britain are now both in material breach of the Treaty of Paris.

— John Noonan (@noonanjo) March 8, 2021

Wtf, the British monarchy is actually a group of cruel and vindictive idiots not fit to rule? Who could have ever guessed????

— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) March 8, 2021

During the interview, the Duchess says that one of the concerns within the royal family (excluding herself and her husband, Harry) prior to the birth of their child, Archie, was the future royals’ skin tone. It was feared that his skin might be too dark to be a future prince, or something like that.

This is Archie.

"Our son needs to be safe," Meghan reveals the Firm didn't want to give Archie security. https://t.co/yw1wysAQZm pic.twitter.com/gHPyzHEXg9

— CBS News (@CBSNews) March 8, 2021

Several of the claims that Markle made to Winfrey appeared to hint at racist treatment toward her with regard to everything from security for Archie to their neglect of her mental health.

At one point, she noted that, during her pregnancy, she was suicidal.

The Duchess of Sussex told Oprah said she ‘couldn’t be left alone’ and that her husband had ‘cradled’ her as she told him she her suicidal thoughts at their cottage in the grounds of Windsor Castle in January 2019, when she was around five months pregnant – but said the palace refused to help.

In the extraordinary two-hour tell-all watched by tens of millions of people around the world, the Sussexes also revealed they were already planning ‘Megxit’ just six months after they married in May 2018 and Meghan compared life in Kensington Palace to lockdown in the Covid world today.

Describing how she considered ending her life believing it ‘was better for everyone’, Meghan said: ‘I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. And that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought. And I remember– I remember how he just cradled me. I said that I needed to go somewhere to get help. I said that ‘I’ve never felt this way before, and I need to go somewhere”. And I was told that I couldn’t, that it wouldn’t be good for the institution’.

Revelation after revelation in the CBS-exclusive interview poisoned social media against the already unpopular British monarchy, but one of the most outrageous moments, according to Twitter users, was the Duchess telling Winfrey that Kate Middleton, the wife of Prince William, made her cry — a reversal from how the story was told almost a year after the event occurred.

Meghan Markle debunks the reports that she made Kate Middleton cry, saying that it was the other way around:

"The reverse happened. She was upset about something. She owned it and bought me flowers." pic.twitter.com/Saof51RZHS

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) March 8, 2021

America: Kate Middleton made Meghan what?! pic.twitter.com/wYo8IxtJYk

— Siraj Hashmi in Gitmo (@SirajAHashmi) March 8, 2021

That is about all the coverage I can muster for this event, but I do want to end with this note:

It appears that the deep cover assignment given to Agent Markle is going well. Based on last night’s interview, the British royal family has taken a major hit. It has been almost 250 years in the making, but America is finally on the cusp of victory over the British monarchy.

Perhaps if they had just recognized the sovereignty of the Stuarts all those years ago, they wouldn’t be in this mess right now.