Most Americans didn’t watch the Congressional UFO hearings. Like me, they were busy doing important stuff – like anything else. It’s not that I am completely disinterested I just think a congressional hearing on the subject is like watching a sci-fi movie. You can get into the drama of it all, but at the end of the day, it was just a lot of loud noises and not a lot of substance.

One of the guys who testified had Peter Strzok eyes. Wild eyes. It looked like the guy had been dropped off at Capitol Hill after being probed by an ET. Like he had been ridden hard and put back wet. To summarize, his testimony, it was akin to an “I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you” dodge. “My wife and I have seen things you wouldn’t believe!” You’re right; I wouldn’t believe it.

Ok, sure, there were other witnesses who claimed they saw stuff. I am just not buying it. Sorry, not sorry. Until a space saucer lands in Lafayette Square and some silver-suited dude named Kaatu exits with a giant robot named Gort standing guard, I am not buying any of it. Does anyone have a good answer for why aliens only crash in the most remote parts of the country or next to trailer parks and have only done so in the last 60 years?  Why do they anally probe only trailer trash and not Eric Swalwell or AOC?

Donald Trump was president for four years. Yes, he was distracted for much of it, but he has no ability to keep his mouth closed, so why has he never blurted out, “I have huge news – I’ve seen aliens, and they are real!”

Why are aliens day-tripping over American land and water? Nothing better to do in Milky Way? We have all seen the Air Force and Navy videos of (usually) boxy-looking black dots defying physics, flying fast, and then stopping on a dime.

It doesn’t help when self-proclaimed “scientists” claim that they can build an actual USS Enterprise from Star Trek fame. According to this site, all that America needs to do is invest a trillion dollars, and we could build a “fully functioning Enterprise.” Years ago, a Yahoo tech writer, who called himself “Tecca,” wrote a gushing article about this idea and postulated that such a project could motivate American children to “pursue careers as scientists and engineers.”  He cites that many of the items used in the series are now used by earthlings, like cell phones, retina scans, and “Wikipedia” (no kidding, that was one of the things listed). That substitutes as evidence that the project is workable. All it will take is a trillion dollars and 20 years, and defying physics.

What tech nerds often leave on the cutting room floor is reality. Physics. For instance, the “go” in the fictional Enterprise is fiction. There are no “dilithium crystals” with which to power fictional “warp engines.” There is no technology that can hurtle objects through space at many times the speed of light. What can travel at the speed of light? Light.

The “transporter” (which disintegrates objects and living things and then sends them to a faraway place to reintegrate them ) is really cool. And impossible. The concept was used in the original Star Trek series because the series didn’t have the budget for little space shuttles – so the writers invented – magic. The energy needed to disintegrate a person, then reintegrate that person into a faraway place, is massive. How massive? From what I understand, the energy is about equal to all the energy in the universe, so those folks building the “fully functional” Enterprise better have a really long extension cord running to…the power source for the entire universe.

Gravity is just a given on the Starship Enterprise. Just flip a switch, and instant gravity. Deck gravity is “a given” in almost every sci-fi movie. The problem is, it’s not possible. It is “possible” to simulate gravity, but creating gravity requires mass – so unless aliens have figured out how to store the mass of their planet in the overhead baggage bins or under the seat in front, their Captain Kirk isn’t going to be walking the decks of their Enterprise goosing female crew members. He (or she) won’t be sitting in the Captain’s Chair screaming for alien Scotty to give ‘im more power. He’d be floating around inside the alien Enterprise, looking for a handle to grab. Centrifugal force isn’t “gravity.”

How about the “food generators”?  Nope. Does anyone believe spending a trillion dollars will produce a  computer that will “cook” a perfect In-N-Out burger out of “energy”?  There is no technology known that can turn energy into matter – any matter, let alone a cup of tea or a hot burger with crispy pickles.

Assuming the laws of physics don’t apply in the rest of the universe, I’m not still buying the Alien Hearings in Washington DC. Like most of what happens in that town, it’s a lot of theater and not a lot of substance.

There’s a reason it’s called science fiction – it’s a lot of fiction and very little science.