J6 — The New Religion

 

New religions are popping up all over. COVID is one, J6 another.

Yesterday was the high holy day of J6. The Day of The Insurrection. Songs were sung, candles lit, stories told. Joe Biden (may peace be upon him) delivered his speech with fire in his belly and air in his head. Kamala Harris, with not a cackle or a French accent uttered, reminded us that J6 was Pearl Harbor, and 9/11. But-for the purple rope line in the chamber of statues keeping the hordes at bay, it could have been the end of the republic.

Brian Stelter of the Order of the Potato presented examples of reporters who witnessed the near end of democracy. Our betters, those in the clergy of J6 like Eric Swalwell (may peace be upon him), orated his own horror.

He was there when the Capital was breached. Eric stood his ground, removed his frock, for the fight to come. With no more than a plastic hair comb and a photo of his honeypot to inspire him, he was ready to defend sacred ground.

Other members offered testimonials during yesterday’s high holy day. Rep Rosa DeLauro of the Order of The Purple Hair gave a stirring recount of her testimony.

Rep. DeLauro remembered sitting in the gallery with female reporters. It was all a fog of emotions, but she recalled looking down and realizing that she “only had so much juice” on her cell phone.

Bulwarks of democracy, saviors of the faith, all. Yesterday — the day of the Insurrection — cannot be forgotten.

Amen.